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-   -   Dating a couple as a secondary relationship (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31026)

notalways 10-27-2012 03:11 AM

Dating a couple as a secondary relationship
After some stumbles along the way I am really starting to get a hang on how poly works for me and what makes me and my partners happy. However I have had something new come up and I just don't know how to handle it. A couple as approached me with interest in starting a casual relationship.

Is there anything really different I should be aware of? I like them both, they are fun to hang out with. Just a little nervous I might be getting in over my head.

Stevenjaguar 10-27-2012 03:19 AM

If there is an emotional bond there, time will only strengthen it so nothing lost by going slow.

Anneintherain 10-27-2012 08:12 AM

Id want to know a lot about if they planned on building individual relationships with you too, or to just keep you at arms length, where they are the couple and you come second. Some people are OK with A or B, some aren't so comfortable with A or B. Main problem seems to be a third parties desires and wants are not taken into consideration as much as the other two people who are already a couple, so think about what is important to you and be clear if you want to have just as much say as they do in the agreements and way it progresses, and if they say one thing but do another...well, cut and run sooner than later imo.

AnnabelMore 10-27-2012 07:49 PM

I would want to know what it means to date them as a couple. What if you form a strong relationship with one, but not the other -- would that be fine, or are they a package deal only? If the latter, that sort of thing very rarely seems to go well.

Good advice here: http://www.morethantwo.com/coupledating.html

Good luck!

notalways 10-30-2012 07:41 PM

That link was really helpful, thanks!

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