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-   -   New to Poly, not so new to the site (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30949)

Dorklord 10-25-2012 07:58 PM

New to Poly, not so new to the site
Hello. Long time lurker (a few months), first time poster that finally decided to come out of the shadows. I don't really know the right way to introduce myself on these forums, so I'll just relate how I ended up here.

A few months ago I met someone online; a married guy looking for a new playmate for his wife. We spoke at length for a few weeks, partly about her and what they were looking for; but also getting to know each other. We found we had a lot in common (we were both outdoorsy, for example), and I have to admit that at least half of the appeal of getting involved with them was gaining a friend in him (at this point I didn't really know much about her).

It didn't pan out between us, though, as I ended up giving it another shot with an ex of mine. That relationship ended and I thought back on a possibility I missed out on. I had heard the term Polyamory before but had not paid much attention to it up until then. From the little I knew of it, it seemed like the closest definition of what they were proposing so I started puttering around the internet looking for resources.

Eventually I came upon this site, signed up, and started diving into other people's experiences posted here to learn as much as I can about this lifestyle.

I'm pretty sure that I am polyamorous...or at least non-monogamous. I've never had multiple relationships at the same time, but I have been in a relationship with a woman who, in turn, had other relationships. It was more of a friends-with-benefits arrangement than a romantic relationship; but I did not feel any jealousy or insecurities so I believe that this lifestyle will at least not be damaging to me.

That's all I have for now. Take care, whoever reads this. :)

kdt26417 10-25-2012 08:32 PM

Hello Dorklord,
Glad to have you with us.

It is usually wise to take things slowly, and find out what works for you. You probably already know this.

Will you try to pursue that possibility you had previously missed out on? In any case, you would probably benefit from interacting with various people here on these boards.

Please post any thoughts, questions, or concerns you may have. We're here to help.

Kevin T.

Dorklord 10-25-2012 10:36 PM

Thank you for the welcome. And yes, I'm taking things slow for now; I'm just reading around a bit trying to figure out what would work best for me.

Right now I'm leaning towards being a secondary, with the possibility of finding my own primary someday. It's mostly an issue of time, and gaining experience with polyamory. I know nycindie and AnnabelMore post a lot on their experiences with secondary relationships, so I usually follow them around on the forums. They tend to answer a lot of the questions I have without my having to ask.

But I'll be sure to raise any concerns I may have in the future.

Oh, and I guess I should say a little about myself.
I'm a 26 year old male in New York City. I work as an engineer in the construction industry and...uh...my favorite color is green?

kdt26417 10-26-2012 07:24 PM

LOL, I am wishy-washy when it comes to colors. Tan was my favorite color for awhile, then I just decided I liked the other colors too much. My favorite number is 17, if that helps? :)

Sounds like you are taking a wise course about reading up on things before making any decisions. I'm sure you'll do fine, just keep taking it a little at a time.

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