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-   -   Help please (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30891)

lolita 10-24-2012 11:22 PM

Help please
Hi I am brand new here. I am mono and my husband is going out with his friend tomorrow night. She is our hairstylist. We have talked quite a bit. I don't know I am feeling so many things and am really trying to understand what I'm feeling. Confused - part of me is excited for him and what I think this will do for us, but another part of me is insecure, jealous, scared...
they have been flirting heavily with each other for a while, which he has told me about. I like to know all details because it makes me feel more a part of things. I don't know if that's wrong or right?
How do i deal with my emotions?
What do i do with myself when he is out with her?
Any advice would be very much appreciated.:confused:

Vosh 10-24-2012 11:26 PM

Currently in the same boat...my girlfriend is sleeping over with a guy we just recently meet....kinda going nuts here but I do know what you are going thruogh

lolita 10-24-2012 11:32 PM

Thanks Vosh,
I'm sure there are a few of us out there.
wish i had some words of wisdom for you.

Vosh 10-24-2012 11:43 PM

so far everyones advice is leave...look at my posts for the whole story

wokeupconfused 10-24-2012 11:45 PM

Communicate... talking about things will usually make the boogie man (green eyed monster) go away.. work it out.. slowly. Discuss HOW YOU FEEL as well as how they feel....

lolita 10-24-2012 11:47 PM

I will look at your posts...

lolita 10-25-2012 12:01 AM

We are communicating, but talking with him is different than talking with people that have been, or are in my situation. Which is why I am here.
Slowly...how long does it take to adjust to this?

lolita 10-25-2012 12:25 AM


Originally Posted by Vosh (Post 161484)
so far everyones advice is leave...look at my posts for the whole story

I am absolutely stunned!

I read through the responses you have received some good advice. There seems to be a lot of kind and helpful people on here.
Wish I could give you a hug right now.

ThatGirlInGray 10-25-2012 12:59 AM


Originally Posted by lolita (Post 161489)
Slowly...how long does it take to adjust to this?

There's no "usual" time, unless "longer than the other person wants to wait" can be considered usual. But days, even weeks, may not be enough. Months is not, I feel, unreasonable. MC and I took YEARS, opening up with baby steps as necessary, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have a fantastic partner and an awesome husband and, as one friend just pointed out, very little drama. IMO slow is the way to go.

Vosh 10-25-2012 02:19 AM

thanks Lolita
wish I could do the same. But what you read was only part. I wish I could blog the entire story

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