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-   -   Well didnt work for me (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3088)

Noname 06-29-2010 07:32 AM

Well didnt work for me
 
I came on board about a week ago, http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3056

My situation was about 2 specific girls. Well I talked to the one tonight and showed her a couple of poly FAQ links.

Not only NO but HELL NO and lots of other not fun conversations.

Thank you for all the advice and help. Good luck in your ventures and hope happiness for all.

redpepper 06-30-2010 12:18 AM

oh that's too bad. chin up, it wasn't meant to be and what is meant to be will be eventually.

good luck to you :)

MrRusty 07-06-2010 09:08 AM

Are these people you already know? Do they know each other? Are you really trying to jump straight from being single to a triad? That's pretty adventurous!

X-User1335 07-06-2010 04:32 PM

I'm not surprised. It's typically hard for a woman to deal with a guy that still has feelings for his x. Not that you did anything wrong here, you can't help who you care about. But on your current GF's side of this, I understand.

My husband and I are dating a girl, but I wouldn't even consider dating his x. Maybe that's just closed minded of me, but she doesn't do it for me at all. Not to mention the jealous factor of their past........

redpepper 07-06-2010 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennjuice (Post 34830)
I'm not surprised. It's typically hard for a woman to deal with a guy that still has feelings for his x. Not that you did anything wrong here, you can't help who you care about. But on your current GF's side of this, I understand.

My husband and I are dating a girl, but I wouldn't even consider dating his x. Maybe that's just closed minded of me, but she doesn't do it for me at all. Not to mention the jealous factor of their past........

What if he wanted to date her again. Would you be okay with that. It doesn't always have to be that you are a triad, or does it?

I think anyone would have somewhat of a hard time with their partner dating an ex. Not just women. There are several threads in recent history and in the past that indicate its not a gender thing.

Even if someone doesn't have a problem with it, there is likely to be speculation as to why you would want to. Ex's are usually ex's for a reason.

X-User1335 07-06-2010 05:56 PM

Redpepper,

We have talked this thing out so much that our ears hurt! But in our relationship we agree that we will both be a acting partner in the new relationship. We're both jealous and we both know this is the only way we can have another partner.

Now, I realize that this isn't the way alot of folks are and that's fine by me! :) It's just the way we are.

But I would not want to be in a relationship with his x, and if he really wanted to be there might be a problem there. I don't know, I haven't faced it. I just know that I wouldn't like it and that's all I can be 100% certain of right now since I haven't had to deal with it.

And I agree that x's are usually x's for a reason.

But I can also understand how you, orig. blogger, could have feelings for your x. You had a relationship and it ended without everything being resolved. So I see this from your point of view also and am not saying you shouldn't have feelings for your x, as I would not presume to tell you who you should and shouldn't date!

I hope that you understand all I was trying to get across is that I can understand why being in a triad with your x didn't sit well with your current girlfriend. I read the blog when you wrote it and hoped for the best for you though..........Maybe your GF will have a change of heart?


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