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-   -   Didn't work this time (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30731)

lovinhimloviner 10-23-2012 03:49 AM

Didn't work this time
 
I am currently living with my boyfriend and my children and my husband is living with his gf and having a baby. We used to all live together in a large house I just bought at Christmas last year. The place we were living was extremely small for the 4 of us and our 4 kids. We were at each others throats. When we moved I had hope that things would get better.

We lived here 2 months before my husband and I could even sleep together. We went from sleeping together 2 nights a week to only 2 nights a month. Half of those nights we weren't even intimate. We "celebrated" our 10 year anniversary in July. He got me a nice box of candies but while he was there picked up his gf some candy as well. I also got a plaque with a sweet quote but it isn't about what I got. It is about the feelings and emotions. He promised me on our wedding night that he would give me a honeymoon for our 10 year. What I got was a dinner I paid for and a one handed foot rub while he watched tv and then passed out.

They had started trying to get pregnant in Dec of last year. My direct supervisor is my husbands gf. She is very mono and actually threw a fit one night when my husband finally decided to give me a night. He cried to me about how he should have slept with me the night before cause that's when she thought he was going to sleep with me. Now she is mad at him for being an ass. It broke my heart that after having to beg him for his time he would actually sit there and tell me how he has hurt her. I told him he should go cause that's where he really wanted to be. When she slammed the door and locked him out of his room all I could do was laugh and say have fun with that.


I kept trying to hold on to him and he didn't want anything to do with me. He kept saying if I start treating him nicer then he would start sleeping with me again. Every time I asked for examples of how I was being mean he couldn't think of anything. I asked them to move out and learned the same day that they were going to have a baby.

I still love him but I just don't think all of the pain and suffering is helping anyone. I'm sad that I'm not more upset about us splitting up. I think I did the right thing.

GalaGirl 10-23-2012 04:02 AM

:hug:

Sounds like you did the best thing for you under the circumstances.

I'm sorry you endure all this tumult.

Galagirl

lovinhimloviner 10-23-2012 04:09 AM

I really just want all of us to be happy and none of us were happy before. I know he is very angry at me right now for making him move, not for splitting up, but I think in the end he will be happier. I was obviously not what he wanted any more.

SchrodingersCat 10-23-2012 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovinhimloviner (Post 161044)
I know he is very angry at me right now for making him move, not for splitting up

Well boohoo for him. You don't get to completely neglect your wife and then expect to stay in the house that she's paying for... Good on you for making him leave if he's going to treat you that way.

lovinhimloviner 12-03-2012 06:59 PM

It's still so hard at times. Most of the time my mind takes over and convenes me that since he didn't even ask me to give us another chance that i did the right thing. Sometimes my emotions take over when i miss him so much, that I often wonder if giving him everything i felt he really wanted that i made the wrong choice.

I wonder if we didn't have OSO if we would have gotten back together and been stronger. I think by having someone there for us that we love makes us feel like we would hurt them by talking and working things out. I know she has said he will never be allowed to move back in or be with me again. She won't allow it. lol He is so mad at me for asking him to leave. We barley talk now its only about the kids when we do.

I love him and I really feel like being with her is all he really wanted. He wants all of his kids to have the same last name and she won't do that unless she has the same last name. They couldn't do that unless I let go of him and allowed him to do what he wants. I just knew he wouldn't be the one to leave because he didn't want to be responsible. I truly feel like he was treating me like shit and pushing me away so I would be the one to put a stop to it and he could blame me.


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