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Ludington 10-22-2012 11:09 PM

New to Poly from Michigan
Hello! We are a 30 year old couple from Michigan. For the past four years, we have talked about swinging and/or open marriages. We don't really want to take part in a swingers lifestyle where we meet a couple and swap partners. Instead, we would like to freedom to explore other people sexually. We have been married for 12 years (we got married young). Neither one of us has ever had sex with another partner. We are very strong in our marriage and have two wonderful children. The fantasy of having sex with other people has been a huge turn on for us. Now, we are ready to take the next step and make it happen. At first, he was driving the discussions around open marriage, but now it is her that wants it the most. For her, being with another man -and having another man kiss her, touch her, etc-makes her feel beautiful and sexy. For him, the thought of another man having sex with her is a huge turn on. He doesn't necessarily need to have sex with someone else, but would like to. Her excitement is fulfilling enough for him. We have agreed that we will not tell eachother who we slept with, but must tell eachother about the experience within 24 hours of it happening.

We, of course, are a bit shy and nervous. Any advice from those in the lifestyle about how to get started, how to overcome any obstacles, etc?

kdt26417 10-23-2012 08:59 PM

Hello Ludington,

Welcome from someone who lived in Michigan for about 20 years. :)

The first advice I'd give you is to try and increase/improve your communication channels with one another; communication is a huge factor in an open relationship.

Some highly recommended threads on this site can be found at:

There are book and website recommendations at:

And we have a Dating & Friendships subforum that might help you locate/meet people in your area.

In general, have a good look around on our site, see what threads call to you, post any specific thoughts, questions, or concerns you may have.

The above links might give you a good start.

Kevin T.

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