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-   -   2 men looking for a woman (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30257)

CuriousityNChance 10-14-2012 04:55 AM

2 men looking for a woman
Hi everyone,

My name is Dale and my best-friend and I are looking for a woman that we can both get to know and fall in love with. We are straight, but we did fall in love with each other and have a sexual relationship. We don't consider ourselves gay and don't do any pentrative sex other than oral, which is why we'd like a woman that we can both love, live with and eventually have kids with. I'm a 29 y.o. Agnostic black man and he's a 21 y.o. Atheist white man and we'd be looking for a woman from early to mid 20's (race and religion not important).
We both like to travel ALOT and see different parts of the world. And we're both the outdoors adventurous type. I don't expect this to get me anywhere but I figured at least say I tried :)

Thanks and have a great day/night

shallei 11-02-2012 11:42 PM

I'm glad you tried.

JaneQSmythe 11-03-2012 12:04 AM

Hello and welcome to the Forums!

My husband and my boyfriend were best friends before I got involved with Dude and I really think that that has been a key factor in why our configuration is working for all of us. My boys are both straight, but, while they don't have a sexual relationship with each other, they do love each other and are fine with having sexual encounters with me at the same time (although that is not our usual encounter). I have read a number of women here state that the idea of being with two men who are also with each other is quite a turn-on for them - so you may, in fact, be able to find what you are seeking (not necessarily here but in the world at large)

One thing that you may want to keep in mind as you are looking, however, is that relationships tend to form and grow at different rates. What often seems to happen is that the third person may be interested in both partners but the relationship with one will advance at a different pace than with the other. How would that affect your current relationship with each other and with her? Are you open for each of you dating separately while allowing the other the opportunity to meet and date your dating partners if she felt so inclined? Or is it a "package deal" from the get-go (a harder proposition)?

Just some food for thought.


CuriousityNChance 11-03-2012 09:09 AM

Thanks JaneQSmythe
Thanks for your insight, yea we thought about what would happen if there was a stronger bond with one of us first before she would accept and love both of us the same. It's not a problem for us as long as she understands that our love for each other is probably going to be stronger than the love either of us would have for her for a while. And we will continue to practice our friendship in the same way.

We don't want to exclude her from anything and don't want to be excluded as well, but understand that bonds can grow asymmetrically and we are prepared to deal with that possibility.


CuriousityNChance 11-03-2012 09:12 AM

Thanks, so far so am I:)

nycindie 11-03-2012 03:33 PM

Welcome. You may want to indicate what part of the world you live in. Might make it easier for someone to consider.

CuriousityNChance 11-03-2012 06:09 PM

yea i guess that's a good point..i'm new to all of this. I'm currently living in Clarksville, TN.

SrAh 02-08-2013 02:58 PM

This post made me very happy to read! My husband and boyfriend are friends, were friends before I came along. This can happen! Good luck! :)

flux29 02-11-2013 01:40 AM

If only you lived in Texas... Good luck to you guys!

smcl 06-08-2013 02:14 AM

Shame you don't live in Canada.

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