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-   -   Hello From SC!! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3016)

amoremme 06-16-2010 03:13 AM

Hello From SC!!
 
Hello everyone (and hopefully new friends.)
I am a 35 year old romantic, living on pipe dreams and ambition in South Carolina! I have always known, even as a very young girl, that I have too much love to give than to just one person. HOWEVER- I am COMPLETELY dedicated to my husband and am certian (because of past experiences) that I would always be able to put him first and yet, love another couple. I am not really interested in the drama of having multiple lovers, rather, I think it would be a beautiful union to share our lives with one other man and one other woman.
From all that I read, it never seems weighted quite evenly and therefore, I think is where the jealousy comes into fruition. I am jealous enough to know that I could not accept JUST a woman but, could easily accept both.
The problem is... finding another unified couple and... getting my husband (who recently admitted that he is "struggling" in our 1.5 yr marriage to admit that he would like to pursue this.
Doesn't this just make sense for us? The only other problem is KNOWING that your spouse is on the same page. Though I think he is open minded, I don't know if he really gets that the idea of polyamory isn't SEX but rather a RELATIONSHIP (even children and home) with other persons.... how does one really know they are getting the whole picture before pursuit?

AutumnalTone 06-16-2010 07:14 PM

Welcome aboard.

The only way to find out if he understands what your expectations are is to explain them in detail. It seems you have an expectation that being involved with somebody else is going to lead to shared housing and daily living, for example. That's not an expectation necessarily shared by other poly folk.

Now, if something like that has to be clearly communicated and negotiated with folks who are already poly, I think it obvious that there needs to be a great deal of communication about that with your husband. Realize that he might never be comfortable with the idea of sharing a home with another couple, even if he decides he's comfortable with doing poly relationships.

Ariakas 06-18-2010 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amoremme (Post 32814)
Doesn't this just make sense for us? The only other problem is KNOWING that your spouse is on the same page. Though I think he is open minded, I don't know if he really gets that the idea of polyamory isn't SEX but rather a RELATIONSHIP (even children and home) with other persons.... how does one really know they are getting the whole picture before pursuit?

First of all welcome to the forum. :)

Just remember, some people would prefer a sexual relationship without the emotions :)...I don't know if that would be the case. Pengrah didn't have any qualms with me having sex with other women...but falling in love with another woman was heartbreaking :)


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