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-   -   Brand new to this entire idea (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30031)

cherilips 10-07-2012 07:26 PM

Brand new to this entire idea
 
I have been dating a man for more than 5 years. We live in two different states which has always been an upsetting factor in our relationship. Recently, I decided to move in with him (this hasn't happened yet). Three days later he tell me that a woman he sees (who I knew about) has suggested that she be allowed to remain in a relationship with him as a second partner. When this was first presented to me I was like "hell no!". But, after giving it more thought, and speaking to the other woman, I've since agreed. I'm planning to move the first week in November and have joined this sight to educate myself and find some support and have questions answered to prepare myself for this new journey. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and really want to support him in this. He says it's something he needs to feel whole and to feel honest with himself and with me. I want an honest, intimate relationship more than anything...even if it's unconventional. I don't know how to do it except to just do it. He and I and his other girlfriend...neither of us have ever had this experience. I have plently of experience with "cheating" boyfriends...but don't think of this as that. I'm looking forward to starting my life with my boyfriend. I believe he is the right man for me...that we have a chance at a very good life together. But this entire thing kinda hit me outta the blue (not really outta the blue as I knew he would like a relationship like this if it were at all possible) and I'm still trying to absorb it all. I'm feeling particularly alone now though because I'd like to be celebrating with him....and knowing that they are now more bonded and together while I'm away in another state for another month. Trying not to be jealous. And I don't know if jealousy is the emotion. It's more of a lonliness. Wishing for some time with him to talk about this. Needing some reassurance from him. But I think my questions make him feel nervous that I'm not really okay with this. I am. I'm excited. But it's just very foreign. I wish I could explain. Hoping maybe someone on this forum has a similar experience that they can share with me and maybe some advice and encouragement.


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