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-   -   Dipping my toes in (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30018)

valancy 10-07-2012 06:33 AM

Dipping my toes in
Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum but not new to poly. It's been a while since I've been actively poly, however, and I've lost touch with the lists I used to be on, and am looking for something new to meet that need. You sound like some good people, and I look forward to getting to know you!

My wife and I have been together for almost 15 years, and during that time we've always been poly. We fell into it, and so it was pretty rocky at first, but we managed to work through the issues and develop some good relationships. We've explored a number of relationship structures, but generally it's been a V with me in the middle. There was one triad that developed out of a V, but it was short lived, and another of my partners lived with us for about 4 years before we broke up.

That was 6 years ago, and since then we've been busy, got married, changed jobs, and poly has been on the back burner. These last few years, I've been more and more bothered by the fact that the world at large assumes I am a monogamous lesbian, when I am actually poly and bisexual. I've also been really missing being actively poly, and have started to develop some potential interests again.

We've had a couple false starts in the last year or two. Some of it has been because we're finding out that what poly means for us now is different than it used to be, and we've had to renegotiate points we thought were settled, and the delay (or backing off) has caused some situations to fizzle before we got started. And a couple of the guys I liked just turned out not to be a good match after all. Not the worst thing in the world, but I'd really like to move beyond that and get to the fun part again.

I do have a new potential guy in my life, and we've crossed the hurdles of meeting each other's wives and so far, so good. Now to see where it goes.

In the meantime, I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who has gone back to actively poly after a long break.

kdt26417 10-13-2012 10:13 PM

Hello valancy,

Just wanted to say welcome to our forum.

Hope you are enjoying your stay here so far; it sounds like you have some challenges due to the long break that you're just now coming out of.

This should be a good place for you to read and interact with people. I'm glad you could join us.

Kevin T.

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