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-   -   MI couple seeking a F (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=29867)

MelandJohn 10-01-2012 02:21 PM

MI couple seeking a F
Hello! We are new to this whole thing. My fiance and I have had several threesomes, but we want a true friend. He's straight, 38, 5'4, 150lbs, Italian with dark hair and eyes. She's bi, 30, 5', 110lbs with dark blonde hair and blue eyes.
We want a woman who doesn't like drama, short, and slightly curvy like me to just casually date and introduce a sexual relationship with both of us at the right time.
He keeps telling me to forget the haystack, I'm looking for a needle in the forrest, but I'm a very determined woman!

CielDuMatin 10-01-2012 07:11 PM

As you may well have noticed, there are lots of couples out here looking for a bi female. "Standing out from the crowd" can be quite a challenge, and many have reported a lack of success.

What I have noticed is that most of the posts are just too generic - "need a bi female as a friend and for sex" doesn't really tell anyone much about what they are looking for beyond a gender and capability for sex.

Is it ok if this person has other relationships, or is married? What about smoking - are you smokers? Is it ok if she is? If she already has children?

I'm sure you get the idea.

Good luck on your hunt.

MelandJohn 10-02-2012 06:36 PM

Thanks for the tips! I figured it's going to be quite a journey in our search, so any help is welcomed!
My guy has 2 kids, and I have 2 kids from our exes. We also share two small children, and it's awesome if our woman were to have kids...one extra thing in common ;).
I am a smoker, he is not. We are open to smoking.
We are both social drinkers.
We are both DD free and expect the same in return.
It's fine if she happens to be in a relationship. We'd be willing for same room sex or women sharing if that were to come up, but I'm completely satisfied with the guy I have. I want a woman.

Magdlyn 10-02-2012 07:05 PM


Originally Posted by MelandJohn (Post 157870)
We'd be willing for same room sex or women sharing... I want a woman.

Do you want a woman for yourself, or does she have to be into 3somes as well? Would your male partner not let you just have a gf or casual play partner to yourself? That would be much easier to find.

Personally, I've done quite a few 3somes at this point and much prefer one on one sex. 3ways are so complicated. Sometimes emotionally, but often just the physical logistics make me feel too scattered and therefore unable to focus and be brought to the best orgasms.

CielDuMatin 10-02-2012 09:14 PM

And I'll add a question, based on what you've written - you say "dd free", but different people have different limits when it comes to some diseases, especially Herpes (HSV1 and HSV2). Statistics indicate that 1 in 4 people have some type of Herpes, and that more women than men have it.

What are your feelings on that?

MelandJohn 10-03-2012 05:06 PM

So helpful!!!
You can't imagine how much it means to me how helpful you are! Obviously, I'm quite new to this whole thing. My guy brought it up recently, and it sounded exciting. Figured this was the best place to start, and I'm so glad I did!!!
We are into threesomes. John doesn't like to play unless I'm very involved. Of course, we started as just him being an observer, and it's become more active throughout the years. I thought it was more exciting when he joined into the fun. :)
Honestly, John and I both have pretty scattered pasts, and we've made it this long without a single disease, so we're very against diseases. I know that makes my search a bit harder, but we have young kids, and our lifestyle shouldn't impact them because of our carelessness...

CielDuMatin 10-03-2012 07:23 PM

Well, you will find a big difference between threesomes that are primarily about sex that may include friendship and caring, and triads or V's, which are primarily about the relationship.

If it's the first definition, then while you may find folks on here who are interested, you may do a lot better on boards dedicated to swinging.

So, if I understand you correctly, no HPV1 or HPV2 in your prospective partner. This would mean that they would need to be tested explicitly for those (since those don't normally get tested in the normal raft of tests). Have you guys had those tests done on yourself?

MelandJohn 10-06-2012 01:07 PM

We are truly looking for the friendship part with the both of us. We've tried the "just sex" aspect, and it's always lacking something... When John brought up polyamory, I couldn't believe my ears...there was actually something in the world we were looking for! LOL..
We have both been tested, so we both know there's nothing lurking below or above for that matter ;)

CielDuMatin 10-08-2012 03:25 AM

Oops, sorry I got the HPV and HSV mixed up.

I was referring to HSV (Herpes) - type 1 is not part of the regular raft of STD testing that is done. If that is something that you care about in a partner, you need to make sure that you yourselves have got tested.

Because HSV1 are cold sores, something that a lot of people have had at one time in their lives or another.

This is why I feel that it is very important to look into the details of what exactly is being tested, and to communicate that very specifically to any prospective partners. I doubt that neither of you have ever had any disease in your lives - if so you would be extremely rare among the human race.

MelandJohn 10-09-2012 09:20 PM

I guess we are a rare breed then...funny, I always thought never having any kind of STD was normal... oddly enough, we were both married to exes with HSV1 and somehow got through our marriages without ever contracting that...LOL...we have played a little recklessly in the past, & made appointments for testing immediately after, but have always managed a clean bill of health.

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