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-   -   Missing multiple partners :( (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=29795)

Akiyuki 09-29-2012 04:00 AM

Missing multiple partners :(
I'm dating two people who are also romantically involved with each other. It's a long-distance relationship on all three sides.

This weekend, the two of them are going to travel and meet, but I can't join them. I've been in a long distance relationship before, but I've never been in a polyamorous relationship before, and I'm having all these weird feelings about them being together when I can't be there.

It's not that I mind them hanging out without me. I just miss them terribly and I miss them even more when I imagine them together. Everything I miss is in one place and I can't be there. But, in some ways, it actually feels better that they're in the same place because I imagine that they're having fun, and that they're not missing each other. That makes me happy.

Most of the time, when we're all three separated, I feel kind of jealous thinking about them hanging out with other people (I realize this isn't very healthy and I don't discourage them from having friends and being social.) But I don't feel jealous of them being with each other; I feel happy about it. But I wish I could be there so much. I'm not really sure what I feel right now.

Sorry for the long, mixed-up post. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experience with multiple-way long-distance relationships, and how you handle your feelings when your partners can see each other but you can't see them. I'm new to this and confused.

NovemberRain 09-29-2012 05:26 AM

My situation is a little different, I'm the hinge of a vee, but we're very close to an emotional triad. I feel very jealous when they hang out together, whether it's virtual or in real life. One lives around the corner from me, and the other is a bit less than three hours drive away. They adore each other, and were friends before the three of us were friends.

I think your emotions are just fine. Let them feel and blow on through. Long distance can be challenging.

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