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-   -   Libido changes? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=29724)

opalescent 09-27-2012 03:55 PM

Libido changes?
 
This is not just a poly question so, mods, if this is more appropriate elsewhere, please move it.

So I am a woman in my early forties. I am finding that my libido is MUCH more intense and stronger than anytime before in my life. No comparision to my thirties or twenties. I want sex more often, more intensely than ever before. I mentioned this to a woman friend who is slightly older than me and she said 'Welcome to your forties!'

It's not a bad thing, that's for sure! But sometimes it drives me a bit crazy. I do think that poly has had some effect - I have heard that the more one has sex, the more one wants sex. I think there is some personal truth for me in that statement.

It's been very unexpected. Have others experienced something similar? (I'm not just asking the women.) Is it hormones? Something else?

GG mentioned in another thread that she has friends who tell her 'That is what being in your [fill in age] is like, you're normal!' Or something along those lines. So I'm hoping for something similar here...

Hannahfluke 09-27-2012 04:28 PM

I'll be forty in a few months. My libido has definitely increased as I've gotten older. I'm not sure how much of that is a result of no longer having small children and leaving a repressive religion and how much is a result of getting older.

I do find that in the last 11 months that I've been dating my boyfriend, my libido has shot up drastically. Before I started dating him I had one tertiary partner that I had sex with a few times a year and my husband, who I had sex with about twice a week with at that point. My boyfriend has a much quicker recharge rate than my husband, coupled with a higher libido in general. For the first couple of months that we dated we'd have marathon sex sessions every time we got together. It definitely slowed down some after we'd been dating a few months, but we still have more sex than I do with my husband. And I've found that having more sex has had the effect of making me think about and want sex more often. So I think right now it's a combination of getting older and an effect of poly.

Isn't this phenomenon part of the reason for cougars? Older women searching out younger men who can keep up with their desire for sex? Pairing the peak of the male sex drive with the peak of the female?

SNeacail 09-27-2012 04:30 PM

Age 43 - for me this started about age 38.

What Hannahfluke said

SourGirl 09-27-2012 09:03 PM

I am definitely in the club of : ' The more I get it, the more I want it.'
I`ve always been in that club.

Something new : I am 36, and the past year, have also noticed a horomone-related sex drive.
( In addition to the first statement.)

So for me, they are not one and the same. I am having to 'talk' myself through some interesting moments, so I don`t make poor decisions.
It can drive me crazy some days. I find I have an all-or-nothing attitude. 'Little bites' just don`t work.
Either I shut that part of myself down, and focus on other things, or I let myself go,....no in-between.

opalescent 09-27-2012 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hannahfluke (Post 157227)
Isn't this phenomenon part of the reason for cougars? Older women searching out younger men who can keep up with their desire for sex? Pairing the peak of the male sex drive with the peak of the female?

It is truly hysterically funny to me that I am indeed a cougar. I never thought I would be. (Whip is significantly younger than me.) When younger I thought older women/younger men was kinda weird (I was rather judgemental as a young'un). Now I get it. I have to have something in common - just being young, hot and ready to go is not enough. Nice, but not enough.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 157260)
...I am having to 'talk' myself through some interesting moments, so I don`t make poor decisions.

Oh yeah. Had one of those already. I slept with a good friend out of total horniness. I convinced myself the chemistry would be fine and it just wasn't. It turned out ok - we talked it out and remain good friends - but yeah, awkward. I do not want to do that again.

SourGirl 09-27-2012 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by opalescent (Post 157263)
It is truly hysterically funny to me that I am indeed a cougar. I never thought I would be.

Haha....
I definitely appreciate the 10+ years younger. :D

dingedheart 09-27-2012 11:37 PM

Well, well, well, if it isn't the ever lovely and (horny) Sourgirl.:D Its seem very fitting that a thread about libido changes and cougarism drew you out of retirement. My money was on the thread that talked about the fisting seminar's I know that topic was/is hard for you to resist;) ....regardless welcome back... you were missed :D


Thread idea ....sexual vampires: courgar's draining the life force out of unsuspecting young men under the guise of being poly. :D:D Feel free SG to cut and paste and fill us in on your summer vacation :D I really love your stories .

Hey you still owe me that story about Micheal Jackson. Don't think I forgot.


Opal
I don't think I noticed a shift in libido due to age as much as life circumstance and a career change.

SkylerSquirrel 09-28-2012 01:10 AM

Regarding increased libido after becoming poly - after having low-ish libido for a while, mine has SPIKED since I discovered the idea of poly and recognized myself as such. Apparently I do have a sex drive :D Having only had sex with one person ever, I had no idea that it was the exclusiveness of the relationship itself that was a turnoff. Until now.

Sadly, I have no outlet for it :( except possibly for the person I have been in a monoship with, and really, that is a buzzkill right now.

SourGirl 09-28-2012 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dingedheart (Post 157272)
Well, well, well, if it isn't the ever lovely and (horny) Sourgirl.:D Its seem very fitting that a thread about libido changes and cougarism drew you out of retirement. My money was on the thread that talked about the fisting seminar's I know that topic was/is hard for you to resist;) ....regardless welcome back... you were missed :D

Hush you, or I'll tell them about the time you called, pretendeding you were a lost boy, at College......:D

I think I posted last week too. You missed it. :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by dingedheart (Post 157272)
Hey you still owe me that story about Micheal Jackson. Don't think I forgot.

...*searching memory banks* Uhoh,......

opalescent 09-28-2012 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 157260)
It can drive me crazy some days. I find I have an all-or-nothing attitude. 'Little bites' just don`t work.
Either I shut that part of myself down, and focus on other things, or I let myself go,....no in-between.

I find I am not capable of sublimating anything right now. One reason it drives crazy sometimes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 157270)
Haha....
I definitely appreciate the 10+ years younger. :D

Whip is 14 years younger. :D So yeah...


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