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-   -   new poly, new bi? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=29178)

fjarilen 09-21-2012 02:48 PM

new poly, new bi?
Hi, I'm really new to all of this so please bare with me and please forgive me if I say something the wrong way. I recently met a couple and moved in with them and I fell for the guy. I love them both actually, but I'm not sure how. He and his girlfriend have been poly-amorous for a while now and were looking for a "second primary". That's me. I had never thought about poly-anything before and I had never thought about girls that way before. I didn't have an experimental period as a teen, or college student, or whenever you're suppose to. Now I don't know how to. If I was still a kid I would walk up and kiss her and then be able to decide if it was gross or if I liked it. But we're adults now and that has the potential to hurt to many people in ways I never want to hurt anyone. I know she would be happier if I was more "well-rounded", but I am a fraidy-cat. How do you know if there's enough of a limb to even try to reach out onto it? And what are the first steps?

StrayKitten 09-21-2012 04:37 PM

Explain that you're nervous, and maybe talk it through with him, and express that you might be interested in trying, but you don't know how. He will likely know if she has expressed interest in playing with you, so you can go from there.

Or tell her that you're nervous but curious and just don't know where to start/what to do.

cuninglingwist 09-21-2012 07:47 PM

Hon just be submisive to her, let her take the lead, take note of the things that she does to you to please you, then you do the same to her or any thing she likes, just relax you will be fine.

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