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-   -   My life and poly (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=29008)

kitkat88 09-19-2012 08:29 PM

My life and poly
I am new to poly, my husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 yrs and we share two women and then I have a long distance bf that my husband is good friends with. The two women that we are involved with have been good friends with for a long time, so when we opened this door the love was all ready there with them. One of the women I feel with stick around for a long time and maybe become a permanent secondary, the other women I feel may stay for awhile but may leave us later in life. My husband I have talked about this and we are fine that. These women are not bound to us, we enjoy them and the time we do have together. My bf, who is a good friend of my husbands, kinda kick started the poly thing for us. I began to talk to him, as a friend, and as time went by he started to become more. He started to ask me about poly and such and never hearing about it I wanted to know more. I am on of those ppl that grew up thinking you could only love one person, but always found it hard, but because its seen as a taboo, you do your best to fit in, which I had failed at a couple of times. After talking with my husband about this we agree to open the door and learn more about it. Even though its all new to us, I have to say I am so happy, and so is my husband. I guess what I am having problems with, and it really its a problem as much as something that just bothers me, is that bf is long distance. To add to this, I have never met him in person. When my husband and I started to open the door to poly, I pointed this out to him that the feeling I had for my bf had no bias; it was all from texts and ims. My bf atm lives over 13 hrs aways, we talk everyday through texts and im and on the weekends we talk on the phone. He is thinking about coming to live with my husband and I, which we both want. We think that it would be good for him, he as a lot of growning to do, that he can't do atm because of his current living situation. Its hard for me to sit on the side lines and let him make his own desicions. I mean its human nature to want those we love to be close to us, right? I also fancy the idea of him and I being able to connect on a physical level, and I do not just mean sex (which I am looking forward too though :), but I mean to just be with each other and do simple things as holding hands, laying in bed together, going for a walk together. Those small things can add a lot to a relationship, and I want that for us.

kitkat88 09-20-2012 12:32 AM

I think another that that is hard, need to get use to, is the process of starting over. With my husband I have known for 10 yrs, I know him inside and out, him and I have a song a dance so to say. If I am upset or say something, he has learned to come in and comfort me. Even with the two women, we have known each other for so long we can just read each other. With my bf, who is very introverted, and i am extroverted, I can't read him yet, and I am still learning about it. I mean its fun to have that newness but at the same time, its been so long its hard to not compare I guess. His relationship with me is still very new, only been "dating" for maybe 2 weeks offically, we have been talking for over 3 months now. Part of the reason I wish he was closer, I think that added connect would help. I love him as a person though, he is wondful, caring, and someone I can trust. I do look forward to him and I growing together and learning more about him

kitkat88 09-20-2012 10:33 PM

It seems that my long distance bf is going to be moving farther away for school. This makes me so sad, we were all hoping that he could come live with us. I am use to a long distance relationship, as my husband and I were in one for over a yr. I told him I am willing to put the work into and see each other when we can, it just makes it hard. I am not sure if other have long distance poly relationships, if anyone does, I would greatly take some advice :)

kitkat88 09-27-2012 02:03 AM

Well as of recent, my bf is now planning out moving in with my husband and I. My husband and I are very excited to have him out here with us. It makes happy for so many reasons, but he will also be a big help. My husband makes custom chainmail that my bf can help him with, so he will be able to get his business going hopefully soon :) He probably will not move out here til about Jan, but just to know that he will be closer makes me happy. He is also excited, I should add.

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