||09-19-2012 08:29 PM
My life and poly
I am new to poly, my husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 yrs and we share two women and then I have a long distance bf that my husband is good friends with. The two women that we are involved with have been good friends with for a long time, so when we opened this door the love was all ready there with them. One of the women I feel with stick around for a long time and maybe become a permanent secondary, the other women I feel may stay for awhile but may leave us later in life. My husband I have talked about this and we are fine that. These women are not bound to us, we enjoy them and the time we do have together. My bf, who is a good friend of my husbands, kinda kick started the poly thing for us. I began to talk to him, as a friend, and as time went by he started to become more. He started to ask me about poly and such and never hearing about it I wanted to know more. I am on of those ppl that grew up thinking you could only love one person, but always found it hard, but because its seen as a taboo, you do your best to fit in, which I had failed at a couple of times. After talking with my husband about this we agree to open the door and learn more about it. Even though its all new to us, I have to say I am so happy, and so is my husband. I guess what I am having problems with, and it really its a problem as much as something that just bothers me, is that bf is long distance. To add to this, I have never met him in person. When my husband and I started to open the door to poly, I pointed this out to him that the feeling I had for my bf had no bias; it was all from texts and ims. My bf atm lives over 13 hrs aways, we talk everyday through texts and im and on the weekends we talk on the phone. He is thinking about coming to live with my husband and I, which we both want. We think that it would be good for him, he as a lot of growning to do, that he can't do atm because of his current living situation. Its hard for me to sit on the side lines and let him make his own desicions. I mean its human nature to want those we love to be close to us, right? I also fancy the idea of him and I being able to connect on a physical level, and I do not just mean sex (which I am looking forward too though :), but I mean to just be with each other and do simple things as holding hands, laying in bed together, going for a walk together. Those small things can add a lot to a relationship, and I want that for us.