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-   -   mom and step-daughter (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28944)

wetnips 09-18-2012 07:40 PM

mom and step-daughter
I am so close to asking my wife if her daughter can poly-up. I don't see anything wrong with it cause we are not related, except by marriage.
What steps should I take to ease my wife into this?

Thank you all.

ThatGirlInGray 09-18-2012 08:23 PM

I don't think "easing your wife into this" is the right frame of mind. I'll try to get past my gut reaction of "ew" and look at this logically:

-Does she (your step daughter) still live with you? If so, NO. Do not start a relationship with someone who depends on you for food, housing, etc.

-What is her age? What is your age? Has she had serious relationships before or would this be her first? If she is young, or a lot younger than you, or inexperienced, I would still say NO. Might be ageism, and I know some people make a significant age gap work, but you are already starting from an untenable position.

-Do you have any reason to think your step daughter would be interested in you that way? Or is this just your fantasy? And have you thought about how your wife would feel having to schedule her time with you based on your time with HER OWN DAUGHTER??

Ultimately, though you may only be related by marriage, this does not sound like a good idea to me. Past the gut reaction "ew" factor (which by the way makes you, with this being your only post thus far, seem hella creepy), because I'm trying to give you a thoughtful answer, is the belief that having relationships with people of the same family (mother/daughter, father/son, brothers, sisters, even cousins) is NOT a good idea. Poly is already difficult enough to manage in terms of time and communication- why add a whole other layer of complication to it by having a family relationship involved too??

nycindie 09-18-2012 08:43 PM

I smell a troll.

polypenguin 09-18-2012 09:01 PM

maybe i'm going out on a limb here, but a guy who calls himself "wet nips" and wants his step daughter (or wive's step daughter) seems just a little creepy.

LovingRadiance 09-18-2012 09:17 PM

I tend to think you are right.. Thus-waiting and watching.

BoringGuy 09-19-2012 12:05 AM


Originally Posted by polypenguin (Post 155420)
maybe i'm going out on a limb here, but a guy who calls himself "wet nips" and wants his step daughter (or wive's step daughter) seems just a little creepy.

You just need to be more open-minded. You don't even KNOW the OP. How DARE you judge him like that.

opalescent 09-19-2012 12:51 AM

What does 'poly-up' mean?

BoringGuy 09-19-2012 01:27 AM


Originally Posted by opalescent (Post 155455)
What does 'poly-up' mean?

It's like "pony-up" except instead of having sex with horses, it's about having sex with homo sapiens.

polypenguin 09-19-2012 01:50 AM

I think i'm pretty open minded, thankyou. But, it just seems a little creepy, being as THAT is the guy's only post. Thanks, but "incest is best, put your wife's daughter to the test" just isn't one for my books.

plus, it appears as though from the short amount of info the guy left we don't know how anyone else feels about the idea, or if they even know. I may be completely wrong about the guy, honestly, I hope I am. For mother and daughter's sake. But from the way it seems now, it's coming off as a little creepy.

how old is daughter? And how old is he? Does anyone else know? And last but not least, how does one "poly up?" all of the poly people I know took time and patience to become successful at it, and didn't just "poly up."

BoringGuy 09-19-2012 01:59 AM

But but - this is someone's LIFE we're talking about here. Maybe he's from a different culture or something.

OP, you should get your wife and stepdaughter to register on this forum so we can hear THEIR sides of the story.

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