Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   single queer mama treading new waters (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2868)

boomclack 05-28-2010 10:32 PM

single queer mama treading new waters
 
Hi all!
I'm recently divorced from a long marriage which was killed by monogamy, have 2 children, returned to my lesbian self and have been in a poly relationship with a bi woman for over a year now. I've always known I wasn't made for monogamy, but finally naming and beginning to practice polyamory has brought confusion, fears, challenges, change, awareness and growth.
On these forums I'm not really seeing anyone in my situation... but I'm hoping to find meaningful discussion from all perspectives!

Ariakas 05-29-2010 04:08 AM

Welcome to the forum...

so just to make the dynamic clear...you were married to a man, now divorced, now with a woman...is she single?...or are you an exclusive couple looking to expand etc? Is she looking, are you looking etc. I think you will find every dynamic here. If anything, this forum has a very diverse range of people...

The journey is an interesting one :)

boomclack 05-29-2010 09:24 AM

Well, yes, married to a man, divorced. GF is bi, single, no children. She and I are primary partners, sometimes have other lovers (in her case, she has had other long term friends/sex partners that began before I came along but are not intense emotional exchanges). We're not looking to have a shared relationship with a third person, just each of us can pursue other interests independently. At this point we are reserving deeper emotional commitments only for each other with the goal that we are building a strong base relationship. This is one of the major aspects that has been hard for both of us to figure out. It seems to me so many people on here have already been in long term relationships/marriages where they got to know each other exclusively and then began practicing polyamory. For me it has been hard doing it right from the start; I think it will take that much more work and effort to make a foundation that is as strong and can withstand whatever comes along. In addition I feel of lot of guilt and/or jealousy depending on what role I'm in. Much more to the story, maybe I'll post in the discussion forum because I certainly need support!


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