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-   -   loving my new found freedom (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2859)

candi 05-27-2010 12:33 PM

loving my new found freedom
Hello all, I would like to introduce myself and am very happy I have found this website, as it explains alot of what has been going on lately with my life.

My husband and I have been swinger's for over 6 yrs. now. In all that time, I have to admit, that as much as I liked the party, I was always not really into getting with strangers..it just didn't feel right to me. At first it did, and it was fun, but then hubby introduced me to a local friend, and that winter, hubby allowed me to get with him on numerous occasions, as I did him with a vanilla friend from the bar. I found I fell in love with him, but that NOTHING had changed with my 17 yr. relationship with my husband. I still felt the same, as we are the type, that still feel like we are on our honeymoon, this many years later. I am 45 and my boyfriend was 28..and as much as we were both feeling towards each other, we both told my husband about those feelings. He was all good with it, just told him not to start moving socks into his bureau and that he couldn't truly have me, which my boyfriend understood. With that said, I told BF, that it wasn't fair of me,,,a married woman, to expect him not to date vanilla girls along side me. Long story short,,he did get a girlfriend and still wanted me on the side, but without her knowledge and she got pregnant. It was then, I realized, that no matter how I felt, it was time to move on and let them be vanilla, in a vanilla world. It took me a long time to get over the feelings, but I have found new love and it has helped me move on.

Now to the present. Our very good friends and neighbors have known we were swinger's for the past 6 yrs. We got with them once, 3 years ago, but decided that we shouldn't, due to being neighbor's and friends, we didn't want to go there. Last fall, they decided they wanted to start going to the party's and try swinging. They went to about 5 party's and had fun, but they really liked getting with us. At one of the party's, about 3 months ago, we all got together again, after all this time. Then we got together again, at home. We started having our own little party's, with music, drink and better conversation, than ever before. That has turned into an "almost every other day" occurance at this point. In this three months, it has gone from the four of us being together, to seperate rooms, because for the most part, alot of laughing is going on, and it causes disruptions. Now we are going out on seperate dates, which we all LOVE!!!!!!! My bf closed down his business, twice this week and got me out on the Harley for a few hours each time, while hubby and his gf, took their own trip. We have been stopping by lakes and just wrap up in each other and you can feel the love. Nothing has changed in my marriage, once again. I still feel that "primary" love for my man, but my bf, can be described as that puppy love when I was 16. I can't get enough of being with him..and it's not all about the sex. I just want to be with him!!! The night before last, we totally switched houses and everyone loved that. We all met up for coffee in the am...and we're all on such a high. This morning, hubby was able to let his feelings out on the table to me. He loves his gf, and this is a break thru, cuz he has only loved two women in his life. He said he would be devastated if someone called off the relationship. I know, at this time, that all involved, are very involved and this relationship will most likely continue for a long time to come. We no longer want to swing..at all...none of us want to attend party's...we just want to be together, doing stuff away from the swinging world. I guess I was meant to be Poly, just didn't know it. I am a very loyal woman, always have been..but I said to my husband, not too long ago...I think I was not meant to be mono, because I REALLY like having a husband and a boyfriend.

It is the ultimate for me...I am so happy that the four of us feel the same way about it. My hubby admitted he can't stop thinking about her, and it's that way for me...and I know it's that way for them...we just all can't get enough of each other..period. We are in luck, that they live two houses up, so we get to use both houses, or do what we want. I'm not sure how this has come about, but none of us care who see's us...we ride right thru town on wheeler's...switched...and have been seen by many people in our small town. The other couple, just wants it "out"...and not have to think about it...we simply don't care who knows, on our end.

Having looked over the website, I realize I am Poly, and I believe the other three are also, they just haven't had a previous experience, as I have...but they are seeing, that it's been working out pretty damn good. We have no problem taking breaks, if someone gets overwhelmed with real life, and needs to do that....This relationship has taken quite a turn in the last three months. All worry about an ending, and I have stated, that I don't think there is a good way to end it, if it comes to that...it is very scary to all of us, but then again, you have to jump in and hope for the best, if you are going to allow yourself this type of enjoyment. I can say as of this morning, that all four of us, love each other. We are all in love. It is hard to concentrate on real life,,,the memories just invade every waking moment of my thinking. I have never met a man as affectionate and passionate as my bf...it was easy to fall for him, and now I can't keep my tongue and hands off him. We all send nice little sexy text's during the work day, and it is such a booster. I feel there really IS room in my heart for two, without any damage to my primary relationship, and I think the rest feel the same. At first, there were a few small bumps, but everyone has become so comfortable with what we have. There are no jealousy's, it simply just flows.

I can't wait to sit down and read some of your' experiences..I am soooo excited that "we fit a catagory"...I felt like we were alone in what we were doing...somewhat on the crazy side...but if it feels good, and it's not harmful, go for it!!! It looks like we all fit the classic Polyarmous...I would love to hear of any comments on what our future may look like, to those more experienced in this. I know I have finally found what I have been looking for in "swinging"...it wasn't swinging..we both wanted this type of thing, but just couldn't find it......thanks for any comments....Candi:D

SourGirl 05-27-2010 08:10 PM

Congrats Candi,....
....and welcome to the board !!!!!

That is a great story you share, and probably echos quite a few other 'former' swingers.

In the past, my husband and I, had what you now have,..it just came to us to young, and we didn`t realize how good we had it. ;)

With any luck, we`ll have something similiar to your story in the future again :)

Enjoy the Forum !

Ariakas 05-27-2010 08:46 PM

Great story...thanks for sharing :)

idealist 05-28-2010 03:19 AM

Unbelievable!!! Welcome !!!! :D

Jack 05-28-2010 09:38 PM

hey baby, guess who!

candi 05-29-2010 11:12 AM

Hey Jack...nice to see you have joined the forum...looking forward to a very sexy weekend with you...ummmmm.....things have turned pretty hot lately, and i'm loving it!!
The four of us have been having really enjoying our new found relationship, and it's been pretty unbelievable, considering that we have lived next to each other, for almost 7 years, and now we have all fallen in love with each other. I can't get over how I feel like i'm 16 again, when i'm with you. It doesn't matter, if we are hanging together as a foursome, or just being alone, I love it all. I miss you in between, as do our significant other's. This is going to be a very special weekend, with our birthday's being celebrated.
Sounds like a sleepover is in order..lol. (Jack and I share the same birthday, which is pretty cool)...
The high that all of us have been on, has been awesome!! The endorphine's have been out of control. Normally, I would be concerned about future damage to our neighbor status, but under the circumstances, I think we are all powerless, to worry or wonder about the future, so i'm just going with it. At this point, it would be hard, not to have you in my life. We are all lucky, in the way, that we don't have children involved, which would only complicate things. Ahhh, the freedom to do what we want...talk about being spoiled. It's gotten to the point, where i'm not sure who i'm waking up with...which is very exciting.
Hope you got some good rest last night, I have some big plans for you!!!
Glad you took the weekend off...your' going to need it....
Kissing you soon....:D Candi

candi 06-03-2010 10:59 AM

thank you everyone....i'm hoping things just keep getting better...

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