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-   -   NRE - how long? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2852)

MrRusty 05-25-2010 07:46 PM

NRE - how long?
 
Just wondered if anyone would like to share roughly how long their NRE (new relationship energy; I had to look it up) lasts? After knowing my g/f for 2 years, dating for almost a year and us both admitting our true feelings only in the last month, I am not sure whether we will soon find the end of our NRE or whether we are past that point and into something else. The intensity has not faded . .

DharmaBum23 05-25-2010 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrRusty (Post 30736)
Just wondered if anyone would like to share roughly how long their NRE (new relationship energy; I had to look it up) lasts? After knowing my g/f for 2 years, dating for almost a year and us both admitting our true feelings only in the last month, I am not sure whether we will soon find the end of our NRE or whether we are past that point and into something else. The intensity has not faded . .

I've heard of NRE lasting for about a week(that's really rare) or as long as about 4 or 5 years(that's also rare). For what it's worth I've noticed that around 3-6 months seems to be the norm.

rpcrazy 05-25-2010 08:30 PM

it's important to remember that, when you're talking about time in relationships in the current's societies standards, the spectrum is essentially, 1 hour-life.

I think the norm is about a month give or take weeks, to somewhere around 6-8 months. The maximum I've ever heard is around 2-3 years as mentioned above...Like mentioned above though, the 2-3 year scenario was in a situation where the people involved had been in relationships for 30 years. 2-3 seemed...short.

Also, the NRE phenomenon is a very complicated socio-biologically event. So, even though it might last a few weeks, a lot of issues, events, ways of thinking, feelings, and other things can be tracked down to NRE. Some of those things, bad...some of them, good.

CielDuMatin 05-25-2010 08:47 PM

I don't consider NRE as "ending" when the relationship is successful - to me it's more like radioactive decay - it just slowly gets less and less as other even more wonderful things take its place....

idealist 05-25-2010 09:20 PM

For me NRE is basically "the infatuation stage" which was written about briliantly by M. Scott Peck in The Road Less Traveled. 6 to 8 months is the average length, but of course that can vary too. Following the NRE is the phase where you have to deal with shadow stuff and that is usually what ends a relationship. Some of us have gotten so good at keeping the shadow in the attic that it could take 18 to 24 months before the real shadow work takes place. A lot of relationships end there. If you can make it beyond that, you might have something long term!!

booklady78 05-26-2010 04:42 AM

I'm still feeling alot of NRE with my BF of almost 10 months, but he recently moved much, much closer to us (as in downstairs in his own suite) so I'm feeling NRE all over again ;)

kamala 05-26-2010 06:20 PM

I'm agreeing with the 6 month estimates... my bf of almost a year still makes me giggle and blush sometimes, but I'm also enjoying the deeper, more intense things that are developing now... I'd say NRE is just a fun crackle before the really good stuff begins :o

SchrodingersCat 05-27-2010 04:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 30755)
I don't consider NRE as "ending" when the relationship is successful - to me it's more like radioactive decay - it just slowly gets less and less as other even more wonderful things take its place....

I like this :) (Big surprise, given my nickname...)

Radioactive decay is a random event, completely unpredictable. All we can ever say is that, given enough of a radioactive sample, half of them will still be intact after X amount of time.

The neat thing about radioactive decay is, there's nothing saying that a particular atom ever has to eventually decay. Theoretically, there's no reason some can't last forever. Also important is that given a large enough sample and any specific amount of time, there will likely be SOME atoms [relationships] that are "radioactive" for that amount of time...

redpepper 05-27-2010 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 30755)
I don't consider NRE as "ending" when the relationship is successful - to me it's more like radioactive decay - it just slowly gets less and less as other even more wonderful things take its place....

I like this too and it's certainly what I experience. The more I participate in the success of my relationships the more of that feeling I get when I had NRE at the beginning. I'm addicted to working hard and being successful where my relationships are concerned.

Morningglory629 05-27-2010 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 30914)
I like this too and it's certainly what I experience. The more I participate in the success of my relationships the more of that feeling I get when I had NRE at the beginning. I'm addicted to working hard and being successful where my relationships are concerned.

Ditto!:D


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