Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   Poly Relationships Corner (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=4)
-   -   New and making transition (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2849)

Goodwife91325 05-25-2010 11:37 AM

New and making transition
Hello All - I have been reading the posts and boards and am really excited to have found the group. My husband and I have been married almost 5 years,
2nd time for us both.

We started exploring the swing lifestyle about 6 months into our relationship and after a lot, and I mean A LOT of talking and working though things had transitioned to allowing each other to have 1 on 1 relationships. I will admit I was more into the "sport fucking" until I met someone who rocked my world and demanded more of me in terms of relationship and commitment.

Unfortunately after 6 months it was just not healthy for me and ended, but I have since met someone else who is wonderful. I was/am so tired of the meaningless hook-ups, but knew I was not getting all my needs met in marriage for many reasons, which I will spare you the gory details, but our outside liaisons/playing is consensual and I will say with all my heart that my marriage is in good standing and our relationship is healthy.

With that being said, someone a longtime back had told me about polyamory and for some reason the word popped into my head today and after google search here I am, it was like fireworks, 8.0 earthquake and a million watt light bulb all going off at the same time. THIS IS WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR.

My #2 , OR 1A as he refers to himself, is a wonderful guy, and hubby is fully supportive of the growing relationship. I am just trying to make sense of this, learn what it really is about, how to deal with handling two interpersonal relationships but knowing that it is just right, that somehow, some way, this is where I was meant to be and that loving two wonderful men, who do get along and are fully willing to share my love and affection is a near-perfect situation for me.

So, I am here to learn, explore, and grow with the hopefully loving guidance and support from those who have traveled this road before me. I feel giddy, empowered, optimistic, and scared S#&*less.

Hubby or #1, is open minded, happy to have me happy and openly looking for his own 1A person. Not sure about the triad/quad thing, so far sexually we have had very cohesive 3-some, hubby is bi and 1A is "bi-social" and accepting of the attention from the 2 of us. We have an early D/s relationship growing with me and 1A, which is something I have wanted to explore for quite some time but with hubby being basically sexually submissive just has not happened, so I am excited in that realm to finally find someone to meet those needs/desires as well.

Sorry if I seem to be rambling, I am just so excited to finally have found group where it seems like people who can relate, not judge and offer support and guidance as I/we begin this journey. I eagerly look forward to reading through the many posts and also hopefully getting feed back from some of you.

Ariakas 05-25-2010 05:45 PM

Welcome to the forums, sounds like a great relationship :)

idealist 05-25-2010 09:04 PM

Welcome!!! You probably have a lot to contribute here!!! Take some time to read, read, read and post, post, post!!! I have a feeling you will be giving advice here soon!!!

SchrodingersCat 05-27-2010 04:50 AM


Originally Posted by Goodwife91325 (Post 30684)
I will admit I was more into the "sport fucking" until I met someone who rocked my world and demanded more of me in terms of relationship and committment. Unfortunately after 6 months it was just not healthy for me and ended

I always have a problem with "demands" as such. It's perfectly fine for a person to say "I have such-and-such needs and they are not being met in this relationship" and I don't think of that as demanding. The key part is what comes next: Do they "demand" that you change in order to meet their needs, or do they just tell you that if their needs are not met, they must end the relationship?

So good to hear you got yourself out of that unhealthy situation and were able to find something better! Welcome to the forum!

redpepper 05-27-2010 05:04 AM

Pardon me, I added paragraphs to your post, I find it easier to read that way as I have dyslexia... :D since becoming a mod this is all I really know how to do... :o I have the powa :cool:

welcome to the forum.

rpcrazy 05-28-2010 04:10 PM


Welcome, and gratz! I wish you well with everything to come!!!

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:37 AM.