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-   -   Newbie to, well, everything - hello! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28307)

winged 09-09-2012 01:05 AM

Newbie to, well, everything - hello!
Hey, I've been lurking this board for a while now, so I figured it was about time I said hello ;P Everyone here seems really cool and has such a breadth of experience, I'm excited to get to meet you.

As for me: I'm 26, love writing and art and currently work in retail but would love to be pursuing something more creative like graphic design or social media. I identify as bisexual (though it's closer to pansexual) and agender - it doesn't matter to me what pronouns you use, so no worries there, most people in my life outside of my direct relationship think of me as female.

I've been in a relationship for 9 years with my lovely wife, J, and interested in polyamory for at least four years of that. I've always had crushes on friends easily and really liked the idea of romantic friendship, and we'd always been honest about crushes with each other, but for a long time I kept it pretty private because I felt like it wasn't a possibility or that it was shameful, especially since J was very open about declaring me her "one" etc - she's more verbal than I am.

However, after a really selfish, failed attempt on my part to force the issue during a crazy-making crush on a friend, we had a lot of talks about poly and what would be necessary to make that possible in our lives, what WOULDN'T be acceptable and what J's fears were about it. It's never something we've actively sought out (eg, looking for significant others other than each other) but it became much less of a hurdle.

Cut to present day: J is dating N, a friend of ours that she's known for about a year and a half. They're long-distance (overseas) and N's coming to visit in the fall, which honestly is the biggest problem we've had. Not how I expected things to turn out, definitely, but I am THRILLED (I tell them I "ship" them) and it makes me so happy to see the people I care about happy. J and my relationship has certainly improved in terms of communication and I think, affection, and I adore N even if my social anxiety keeps me at times from being as close to her as I'd like. It's a very new relationship still very much in the honeymoon stage so we'll see what happens but so far so good.

I am so verbose. Sorry guys.

kdt26417 09-16-2012 04:02 AM

Hi winged,
Welcome to our forum.

Sounds like things are working out pretty well for you guys, even if it was rough for awhile there back then. I hope your stay on Polyamory.com is an enjoyable one.

Kevin T.

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