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-   -   New, idealistic but tentative (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28242)

birdpowers 09-08-2012 12:03 AM

New, idealistic but tentative
 
Hi everyone. I searched out this forum because I am involved in a polyamorous relationship with a Woman who is in a domestic relationship with a Man and they have kids. I am basically in love with the whole family, and it is wonderful, but not without it's trials and tribulations. It is proving to be both rewarding, spiritual, and frustrating, all at the same time. Anyways, I hope to find some good peeps here, as well as some good conversation about Love. It's so damned big and all encompassing!

JaneQSmythe 09-08-2012 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by birdpowers (Post 153545)
Hi everyone.

Hello...and Welcome to the forum!

Quote:

Originally Posted by birdpowers (Post 153545)
I searched out this forum because I am involved in a polyamorous relationship with a Woman who is in a domestic relationship with a Man and they have kids. I am basically in love with the whole family, and it is wonderful, but not without it's trials and tribulations. It is proving to be both rewarding, spiritual, and frustrating, all at the same time.

When you feel comfortable I'm sure we would all enjoy hearing about your experiences - we have "blogs" section for sharing our stories. It's helpful, I think, for people to read about all of the myriad of ways that people have found for "poly" to work for them. Someone's sig around here reads that, basically, there are as many ways of "doing" poly as there are people "doing" it. Many people reading here are new to the concept and struggling - providing examples of the many paths poly can follow can help folks sort out their own path.



Quote:

Originally Posted by birdpowers (Post 153545)
Anyways, I hope to find some good peeps here, as well as some good conversation about Love. It's so damned big and all encompassing!

Ah, an EXCELLENT topic - and one that I have always had trouble with. One of our posters has the Heinlein quote "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." as part of their sig. While I am a HUGE Heinlein fan this definition has never cut it for me. It seems to apply to a wide variety of "love" (love of fellow man, love of family, a Buddhist-like love of "everything" as being part of oneself, etc. - I can apply this to random strangers-in-distress) - and not helpful, to me, in the narrower realm of "romantic love".

I talk a bit about what "love" (specifically saying "I love you.") means to me in this thread.

In my experience "love" is one of those concepts where "everyone" knows what it means and "everyone" is using a different conceptualization of the same.

Looking forward to some interesting conversation.

JaneQ

CielDuMatin 09-08-2012 01:02 PM

Welcome. Yes poly is very large in topic, but as long as you know what you want and what you don't, it's not too bad.

Glad to hear that you are making it work for you - there are always bumps in the road that need to be negotiated - I don't think poly is different from a monogamous relationship in that respect - some of the issues can be a little different, though.

Please feel free to talk about your story - it's amazing how other folks appreciate hearing the regular stuff about a relationship that works. So many come here to post about relationships with massive issues - sometimes it's valuable to know that it just works. :)

kdt26417 09-08-2012 09:08 PM

Hi birdpowers,
Welcome to our forum.

You seem to be having a similar emotional roller-coaster to what I did in the early years of my V/triad. If your pattern goes like mine, you should find that it gradually gets easier as the years go by.

Re (from JaneQSmythe, Post #2):
Quote:

"In my experience 'love' is one of those concepts where 'everyone' knows what it means and 'everyone' is using a different conceptualization of the same."
Heh; excellent observation.

Anyway, birdpowers, I'm glad to have you with us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.


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