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-   -   Can I have a poly household of slaves? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28050)

swedishdomme 09-06-2012 12:05 AM

Can I have a poly household of slaves?
 
I didn't know about BDSM until my friend told me about it and I then started out as a findomme to get easy money but I soon realized that It wasn't all about the money.. It was about the powerful feeling I got out of being in total control and making the slaves obey me. I had found something I LOVED but I didn't want to be online or a findomme. So I evolved from there on and have learned much more about the BDSM community and really come to love female supremacy.

My dream is to first find a filthy rich man, preferably with a great career and powerful job (like CEO) and make him my slave. And then have a household in a large house with several male slaves all attending to my wishes and needs. And I want total control.

I don't know much about traditional poly households but that's how I would have wanted it. But it's complicated.1. I'm not sexually attracted to submissive men I just love the feeling I get of controlling them.. I rather like dominant guys in the bedroom. I would love to feel like a queen and have men worshiping me. 2. And I'm not in to hardcore sadism and bdsm torture.. but I do enjoy to punish men in other ways.
Is that going to be big problems in this kind of household?

I don't know how to get it all to work or what the slaves would expect from me. I want to make it a good household and tend to all my slaves needs.. But I don't want to have sex with them except if I have sex slaves. (and a husband maybe)

Can someone please tell me if this is even possible or heard of? And how I could make a household like that to work? I don't know much about this I just know my dream, that's why I became a member here. I want to find out if/how this could work in real life and make a plan.

AutumnalTone 09-06-2012 01:20 AM

This is not really the place to be discussing creation of a bdsm household. Although we do have a good many kinky polyfolk here, discussion of the type of household you describe isn't really on topic on these boards.

I'll suggest FetLife for this particular discussion.

BoringGuy 09-06-2012 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedishdomme (Post 153036)
Can someone please tell me if this is even possible or heard of? And how I could make a household like that to work? I don't know much about this I just know my dream, that's why I became a member here. I want to find out if/how this could work in real life and make a plan.

I've never heard of an exact situation like you described in real-life, but lots of similar ones.

The main thing is, you need to find people who are interested in taking on these roles in relation to yourself. It's my understanding that there are a lot of rich guys who have so much power in their real-lives and/or jobs who enjoy being a slave and/or submissive with just the BDSM and no sexual contact at all, or no genital contact, or no contact/play leading to orgasm (the way you described).

There is a thread on here called "BDSM", but BDSM is not restricted to polyamory or polyamorous of itself just because there are more than two people involved.

I recommend that you look into other online resources that could help you obtain the special arrangement you want. Many cities have events and meet-ups based on the very thing you are looking for. Although there are many people on this forum who practice BDSM within the context of polyamory, it does not sound like what you want "is" polyamory, but rather a specific type of multiple play-partners.

Now, if you were in a relationship with yourself as a sub and a partner as YOUR dom or master, then I could certainly see the possibility of you adding additional partners (Dom or sub) where there was more of emotional dynamics. But I will say it again - what you described with yourself and these potential submissive males, while may be kinky and non-monogamous, does not sound like it includes the kind of emotional connection/commitment that is the key ingredient in the definition of "polyamorous".

Having said all that, i think it's refreshing to see someone who knows what they want and expect within a certain framework, and is looking to start as they mean to continue. Good luck with it!

CielDuMatin 09-06-2012 12:47 PM

I definitely think that you will get a much wider range of answers on FetLife. A lot of the dynamics that you want to set up aren't those that most poly folks will be able to relate to.

Good luck with turning your fantasy into reality!

Vinccenzo 09-06-2012 02:46 PM

Take care to not make your fantasy the priority. You may have this image in your head of how it will be but the reality is you won't be in control of these people. They will need to be heard and respected and it can mean that not everything you fantasize about will be wanted by all of your partners nor all the time by all/any of your partners. Your control will be an illusion created only by their willingness to participate.
That's the slippery side of fantasy. Focus too hard on making it a reality and you can find yourself not recognizing the needs of your partners when they want something that you didn't factor in or being disappointed when it isn't everything you wanted.

opalescent 09-06-2012 04:40 PM

I would have to agree that Fetlife will likely be a better source of actual advice on this. However lots of poly people are kinky and some are into M/s which is what you want. I do think that poly *generally* has an egalitarian bent that can be at odds on the surface with the dynamics of M/s. On the other hand, poly also places great importance on informed consent. I do think poly can be done in M/s or D/s relationships. But yeah they will not look much like many of the relationships that are more common here.

swedishdomme 09-06-2012 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoringGuy (Post 153050)
I've never heard of an exact situation like you described in real-life, but lots of similar ones.

The main thing is, you need to find people who are interested in taking on these roles in relation to yourself. It's my understanding that there are a lot of rich guys who have so much power in their real-lives and/or jobs who enjoy being a slave and/or submissive with just the BDSM and no sexual contact at all, or no genital contact, or no contact/play leading to orgasm (the way you described).

There is a thread on here called "BDSM", but BDSM is not restricted to polyamory or polyamorous of itself just because there are more than two people involved.

I recommend that you look into other online resources that could help you obtain the special arrangement you want. Many cities have events and meet-ups based on the very thing you are looking for. Although there are many people on this forum who practice BDSM within the context of polyamory, it does not sound like what you want "is" polyamory, but rather a specific type of multiple play-partners.

Now, if you were in a relationship with yourself as a sub and a partner as YOUR dom or master, then I could certainly see the possibility of you adding additional partners (Dom or sub) where there was more of emotional dynamics. But I will say it again - what you described with yourself and these potential submissive males, while may be kinky and non-monogamous, does not sound like it includes the kind of emotional connection/commitment that is the key ingredient in the definition of "polyamorous".

Having said all that, i think it's refreshing to see someone who knows what they want and expect within a certain framework, and is looking to start as they mean to continue. Good luck with it!

Thanks for all the answers. :) I will make a profile on fetlife and continue asking them. I think you're right that it's not polyamorous but I still would want a boyfriend/husband to live with me and not me a slave. Although only one.. And maybe a sexslave. ;) But I would like that emotional connection. In fact I already have a bf that is willing to try it out.. But having two boyfriends would probably make me very jealous. I don't get how you do it! But it must be great to be able too.


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