As authored by me.
Good evening, polyfolk!
I have decided to start a blog of sorts to commemorate my desire to enter the community at large. I planned to start by giving my story of finding poly and how I got where I am, but then inspiration hit. In either case, I look forward to sharing what bits of my life I can.
While at work today, one of my employees managed to deduce that I am in "an open relationship." I don't discuss these types of things while at work, so I have no idea what slipped, but then again, I work in a gossip-prone environment, so...
But I digress. After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that I am still somewhat in the closet. Or, as I am prone to say to friends who know: I don't keep it a secret, but I don't advertise. Either way, I'm not sure if I even like this fact. I made the decision to lead a poly lifestyle about three years ago, but I still only tell a close few (and a number of OKCupid users).
I've always told myself it was for safety. My family (mostly) is in the dark, mostly just for their comfort. My primary's family is as well for much bigger reasons. Then there's the risk of exposure in a conservative Bible Belt community where such "scandals" can ruin careers if the wrong customer or manager hears about it.
Maybe I'm simply creating these risks in my head to keep from making the plunge. I'm still young and inexperienced in most ways possible.
But somewhere, in the back of my mind, there's a little voice dying to come out. It drives me crazy. There should be no reason to hide who I am, but I feel to be open would do more harm than good.
That said, since I've relocated across the state, I find my new community much more accepting. I still know no other polyamorous folks in person (and none to speak of otherwise), I have managed to make two or three friends who have been tolerant (perhaps even accepting?) of my chosen lifestyle. I'm building up confidence in my identity (part of why I relocated: a spiritual journey of sorts) in the hopes of eventually being openly proud of who I am.
In any event, I find myself interested in your stories. Any other newbies out there facing the same struggles? Any tips from others who have passed this hurdle?
Much love to all!
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