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-   -   How to start dating again... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2766)

punkrockmomma 05-12-2010 02:26 AM

How to start dating again...
 
I just recently attempted to start dating again....things went completely awry after three dates on both attempts, ack!

I got "the talk" from two friends this weekend that I should stop closing myself off from the possibility of meeting people. I am and I'm not...it's a bit complicated. The idea of having a relationship or relationships again would be nice, it has been quite a long time. My life is pretty hectic though - in dating it seems that I am always the one expected to work around other peoples lives....when I'm the one with the complicated schedule!

I'm having a hard time putting myself out there. Sometimes I'm lonely, I find that it's easier to weather those lonely times that deal with all the complications of finding and being in a relationship again. I don't have room in my life to fall apart, be sad etc. I'm a single momma, it's challenging enough on its own without any emotional complications.

redpepper 05-12-2010 02:32 AM

*hugs* patience my dear. this too shall pass.... you are freshly out of the muddle you were in it sounds like. A good long rest and time to gather yourself isn't so bad is it?

:) that being said, I hear you and understand that it is hard.

punkrockmomma 05-12-2010 02:56 AM

I'm not in a hurry to get back in the dating saddle, I think my friends are concerned that if I don't start putting myself out there I never will.Sigh.

I am still feeling a bit sad about my recent kerfuffle, it's not as if I suddenly stopped liking the guy. I just couldn't work my life around theirs.

I am very clear about who I am and what I want, it often feels as if people aren't listening to me. I really put my all into everything, I just don't want to be taken advantage of again like past relationships.

Thanks for the vent :)

LadyMonterey 05-14-2010 11:48 PM

How to start dating again...
 
I just wanted to say that knowing who you are & what you want is an asset & shows strength of character. Not molding yourself around those you date also shows strength of character.

I went back to dating last September. I hadn't dated since I met my ex in 1977. After my divorce 2 years ago, I focused on myself. My neighbour became concerned & suggested I go fishing. "Huh?" I registered with a free on-line dating service. I was overwhelmed by the responses, especially at my age. It did my ego a lot of good & I became a lot more confident.

And I had, & still do have rules. They have to fit my life. I compromise but not by much. I now have 2 men in my life who were attracted to my independence because they have the same needs.

Like Redpepper said, take a break. Why not go fishing. ;)

punkrockmomma 05-15-2010 12:58 AM

I did put up a profile on a dating website....I didn't put my "modeling" pictures up though. Not enough of a vain tart to call myself a model - the pictures tend to draw in every yahoo imaginable :rolleyes:

I am focusing on spending time with my son and friends tonight. Meeting the new boyfriend of my partner in crime, having a cook off which we do once a month for healthy lunches, listening to a really rad old punk comp and looking forward to having my hair coloured pink and white tomorrow. The sun is shining and my spirits aren't quite so low.Not such a bad Friday evening :)

punkrockmomma 05-19-2010 08:50 PM

I have a date next Tuesday, a pretty neutral one for the most part.He seems like a nice enough guy, figured drinks can't hurt. I leave for Edmonton the next day so I will have time to process :rolleyes:

I will likely run into L and J this coming weekend, kinda makes my heart twist up a bit but it's not as if I can avoid seeing them out and about.

nycindie 02-26-2011 06:50 PM

Hey, punkrockmomma, if you're still around... would love to hear more about your dating experiences, so I'm resurrecting your thread! :D



I just started a new thread about being on my own, solo, and dating, if you'd like to add something:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7163


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