Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Converting from lurker (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=27558)

Avatar 08-29-2012 07:20 PM

Converting from lurker
Okay, since Skye has already done a wonderful job, I think I'll steal her intro and edit.

Hi there. I am a male that is part of a quad with my wife, Skye, of 17 years and another married couple. We have been on and off quadded for the past two+ years, but have remained best friends throughout. Skye and I have two children, and our other half has one child. Our youngest child is biologically not mine, she is Busbuddha's, (by choice) but Skye and I are primary in her upbringing. We are out to all our families, although not all are supportive. We are not out, however, to our 11 year old son, which is a quandary. We are hoping to possibly find some support for this here. He does know about our youngest child not being his full sibling, though. The four of us, plus our three kids, are utterly, and completely, chosen family and this will never change.

Our personal arrangements allow for outside, agreed upon, partners. We have a hierarchy within the quad that our married partners are priority. I am lovers with the other female of the quad, but not sexually intimate with Busbuddha.

I am hoping to find some community here, as it is hard to have to be in the closet with most everyone in real life. My close friends are aware of our lifestyle, but most people are not. Skye and I have had a somewhat open relationship for 8+ years, but we find being committed to another couple works best for us.

Thanks for reading!

opalescent 08-29-2012 07:21 PM


Welcome! I hope you and your partners find the forum useful.

Maybe you could use names in your intro or later on? I am finding it impossible to follow who's who in your intro, partly because of the interjections. It's just hard for me to read and understand.

Avatar 08-29-2012 07:25 PM


Originally Posted by opalescent (Post 151247)

Maybe you could use names in your intro or later on? I am finding it impossible to follow who's who in your intro, partly because of the interjections. It's just hard for me to read and understand.

LOL Sorry! Fixed! :)

opalescent 08-29-2012 09:06 PM

Thank you! It is much clearer.

Are you out to your other children? Or are they just too little to understand?

busbuddha 08-29-2012 09:13 PM

I'll chime in on that one...one is 14 months and the other 9 months, so they only really understand that there are many people around them who love them a ton. :)

kdt26417 08-30-2012 09:34 PM

Welcome Avatar, Skye, busbuddha, and ... ? :) Glad you could join us.

I just posted a little on Skye's intro thread; I think there are a number of ways you can approach your 11-year-old, depending on your judgment as parents.

I hope Polyamory.com can be of some small help; we're here to answer any questions you may have.

With regards,
Kevin T.

Avatar 08-31-2012 12:50 AM

Thanks Kevin! Hopefully, we can add some back to the site as well. :-)

Avatar 11-02-2012 09:33 PM

It's been a good while since any of us have posted, but, with good reason. in a nutshell, things have been crazy, and, sadly, the whole thing as exploded in a very spectacular fashion, with several parts still smoking or on fire. (sigh)

LovingRadiance 11-02-2012 10:17 PM


I am part of a V, myself, Maca and Greengecko (GG). We have Sourpea (bio child of myself and GG), Sweetpea (bio of Maca and I), Spicypea (mine from previous circumstances) and SaltyPea (bio of Maca and exwife).

Ages-Spicy 21, Salty 16, Sweet 12, Sour 5. (salty doesn't live with us or have contact by his choice not related to poly)

We are out with the kids and have been for 3 years.
Honestly, they took it easily and well and it just wasn't a big deal.

I bet that a short honest discussion about love would resolve the anxst you have over your 11 year old. Kids really aren't too particular about who loves who and they ask what they need to know.

We didn't discuss sex per se-they didn't ask.

kdt26417 11-03-2012 07:06 PM

Hi Avatar,

Sorry to hear things have gone badly. Is there any chance you guys will get back together again? Do you have any kind of plan in place at this point?

I hope things improve for you somehow soon.

Kevin T.

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