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-   -   New to the board, looking for community (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=27523)

Skye 08-29-2012 06:55 AM

New to the board, looking for community
 
Hi there. I am a female that is part of a quad with my husband of 17 years and another married couple. We have been on and off quadded for the past two+ years, but have remained best friends throughout. My husband and I have two children, and our other half has one child. Our youngest child is biologically not my husband's, she is the other male's of our relationship, (by choice, due to my husband's infertility) but my husband and I are primary in her upbringing. We are out to all our families, although not all are supportive. We are not out, however, to our 11 year old son, which is a quandary. I am hoping to possibly find some support for this here. He does know about our youngest child not being his full sibling, though. The four of us, plus our three kids, are utterly, and completely, chosen family and this will never change.

Our personal arrangements allow for outside, agreed upon, partners. We have a hierarchy within the quad that our married partners are priority. I am lovers with the other female of the quad, but our husbands are not sexually intimate with each other.

I am hoping to find some community here, as it is hard to have to be in the closet with most everyone in real life. My close friends are aware of our lifestyle, but most people are not. My husband and I have had a somewhat open relationship for 8+ years, but we find being committed to another couple works best for us.

Thanks for reading! :)

MusicalRose 08-29-2012 02:49 PM

Welcome! I think this kind of situation is what my fiance and I were originally looking for. We haven't ended up with that exactly, but it would be nice one day to end up with at least one extra girl in our group. Right now I am in a V situation with my fiance and my boyfriend. Both of them are straight, so ideally more girls would be a bonus.

How did you meet your OSOs?

Skye 08-29-2012 04:31 PM

We actually met them by complete happenstance, through a hobby club (non poly related) that my husband belongs to. It just turned out to be one of those chance occurrences. It is very hard to find four people that mesh well. I hope you can find what you are looking for. :)

Avatar 08-29-2012 04:31 PM

Well, well, well. Looks like you're going to make me come out of lurking mode, eh Lover? :p

MusicalRose 08-29-2012 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skye (Post 151210)
We actually met them by complete happenstance, through a hobby club (non poly related) that my husband belongs to. It just turned out to be one of those chance occurrences. It is very hard to find four people that mesh well. I hope you can find what you are looking for. :)

That is awesome. It is indeed to find that kind of connection in equal parts. Congratulations on finding it. :-)

tallOakland 08-29-2012 05:21 PM

Welcome, I'm new as well, and I actually really like the idea of a quad, it seems so balanced. I look forward to seeing more of your posts about how things go with your friend.

busbuddha 08-29-2012 06:18 PM

Well, now I feel like I need to poke my head in and say hello. :)

I'm the husband of the couple Skye & Avatar are quadded with. How goes it? :D

tallOakland 08-29-2012 06:34 PM

I love that you (the members of the quad) are (nearly) all here. :)

Avatar 08-29-2012 07:09 PM

Heh heh Thanks. We're all here, though only just now creating accounts. :)

tallOakland 08-29-2012 07:13 PM

Nice. The reason I'm so interested in a quad is that it's sort of a distance fantasy for me about how things can progress. The missing person would be my lover's partner (who does not exist beyond me, 3000 miles away). I just love the idea of people being loving and open and honest in that configuration.


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