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-   -   Couple in NC looking for friendship with other poly couple (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=27235)

coolkat8 08-25-2012 05:24 PM

Couple in NC looking for friendship with other poly couple
 
Greetings! My husband and I have been poly for a few years now. Unfortunately we are feeling isolated as we keep our lifestyle to ourselves mostly as the majority of family and friends would not understand and judge us. (a few do know and are ok with it) However, we have not found any Poly friends here just to hang out with, be friends with and share advice, ideas on being poly. It is very isolating for us at times. We live in the Raleigh area would love to meet some like minded individuals!!:)

drtalon 08-25-2012 06:26 PM

The Triangle has a great poly community! Why haven't you made poly friends?

http://www.meetup.com/trianglepolyamory/
http://www.trianglepoly.org/

coolkat8 08-25-2012 07:09 PM

met some
 
We did attend the weekly coffee group but there seemed to be cliques and only a few people interested in really socializing with us. It was not welcoming for me at all. Most people knew each other and just talked to those in their "group." And frankly, there were some very strange people I thought, (example, two extremely large girls in very small clothes making out on the couch in front of everyone- not my scene!! it was very uncomfortable)
I was afraid for the meetup, did not want my picture up but it looks like they don't post for everyone not in the group to see. may check it out!

C

drtalon 08-25-2012 11:14 PM

That's one of the complicated parts of communities that span typical social groups, isn't it? If you don't feel you fit into the "core" of the group, which in poly is typically nerdy and fringe (in my experience), then maybe you decide to never attend again. But, there are plenty of similar people who are also poly out there... enough so that one or two people who might become friends show up once a month. Did they show up on the same week? Probably not. If they only attend once, then they'll never meet, and so on... until all the potentially similar people missed each other. Then, they think there's no one like them in the community, but maybe only because they didn't stick around long enough in order to find each other.

Or look at it another way... Suppose you wanted to find friends at a cool grocery store because you want to meet people interested in good food (for your definition of good food). Would you only go once because you didn't find anyone similar that one time? Even if the chef at the demo that day put milk in the frittata eggs (or whatever thing would be offensive to your food sensibilities)?

drtalon 08-25-2012 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolkat8 (Post 150392)
I was afraid for the meetup, did not want my picture up

Meetup.com gives you the option to keep your group memberships and interests private. If you have other concerns, please send a message to the organizers--there's a link to do so on the main page of every meetup group, even ones you're not a member of, though you do need a meetup.com account.

lovingcouple123 08-26-2012 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolkat8 (Post 150366)
Greetings! My husband and I have been poly for a few years now. Unfortunately we are feeling isolated as we keep our lifestyle to ourselves mostly as the majority of family and friends would not understand and judge us. (a few do know and are ok with it) However, we have not found any Poly friends here just to hang out with, be friends with and share advice, ideas on being poly. It is very isolating for us at times. We live in the Raleigh area would love to meet some like minded individuals!!:)

We are a couple in East Tenn with the same desires and concerns. WE are very new to vthis lifestyle with no idea where to meet like minded sincere couple to share our lives and love

lovingcouple123 08-28-2012 01:06 AM

hi
 
We are new to this site, so i don't know if you received my message or not. If you did, please reply and let me know
Thank you

lovingcouple123 08-28-2012 12:12 PM

Goodmorning, We are new to poly interested in sharing our lives with another couple. We haven't found any poly couples so far, unless they are under cover. Would like to talk with you. Have a nice day!

RfromRMC 08-29-2012 06:25 PM

coolcat8,

I'm one of the co-organizers of the meetup that drtalon mentioned.

The meetup's good, cuz we offer some things that are much smaller groups than the friday coffee nights, and thus you'd be less likely to find cliques etc.
(I never recommend that specific event for anyone's first poly outing, in my opinion. Very intimidating since it attracts a huge crowd.) Smaller discussion groups, dinners, brunches, movie nights, etc...are probably more what you'd be looking for!

Our membership list is not viewable to anyone outside the group.
But if privacy still a concern, the meetup requirement for a pic is more for an "avatar" purpose. You do not need a face pic per se, just something that labels your profile.
As long as anyone thoroughly & completely answers the profile questions to get in the group to show you're serious about poly and not just passing through, me and the other organizers will clear it on through!

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a private message.
-Rob



.

RfromRMC 08-30-2012 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovingcouple123 (Post 150555)
We are a couple in East Tenn

Y'all should check out the NC Mountains poly group:
http://www.wnc-poly.org
Good luck!


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