Polyamory.com Forum

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Petal 04-30-2010 03:26 PM

Hi Everyone
Joined to get some insight as to how others of similar lifestyles think and live. Still pretty fresh to the poly world. Well honestly I guess I'm fresh to admitting to myself that I'm part of this world. I hope no one takes offence to that. It's not said in reference to anyone else's choices, but for me this is much like coming out of the closet. I was told by the love of my life that I was poly long before I could even picture this lifestyle as a lifestyle. Needless to say my response was enough for him to let me go and for me to run away from both the people I'd fallen in love with. Over the years I've never stopped truly being his and he's never gave up having some type of roll in my life but kept enough distance for me to figure things out on my own. Well now years later I can honestly say he was right all along, but how to embrace this fact in my life is probably going to take a few more years lol. So until then I've joined this group as I said earlier get a little more insight with this in mind I hope you understand if I lack in much involvement outside of observing how others feel, interact, and live.

idealist 05-01-2010 02:25 AM

Hello Petal !!
I can really relate to what you shared. I have been in the closet and have just recently come out to myself as being polyamorous. It might not take you as long as you might imagine to adjust. Some people do take longer to make changes and shifts, so I guess it depends on your ability to move forward on a personal awareness. For me, it was just under the surface and all I had to do was acknowledge it consciously and that was it.....I'm living it now and very comfortable with it. Life will unfold and I will have to struggle with the relationship dynamics as they come up, but I feel completly ready for that. So....I hope you have an easy adjustment !!!

Petal 05-03-2010 04:43 AM

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I believe what you say to be true. I know once I start to embrace things it will get much easier. For now I'm just trying to remember to breath as I take steps back into his life and learn to adjust to knowing I'm not alone in being able to love more than one nor should I question his ability to love me uniquely while still loving others as well. I think I'm coming to a realization that my true fear is knowing if he can recognize when to many means to little. I should know better than to doubt someone who has been capable to love me both near and far as well as while I'm his and when I've belonged to others. I wish you lots of luck on your current journey.

foxflame88 05-09-2010 07:28 PM

You may have just "realized" you are poly, but you seem to have a great start to understanding it at it's core. Good luck in finding what makes you happy.

Petal 05-10-2010 04:18 PM

Thanks, Allie. Right now I'm at such a crossroads in my life it feels like I have no choice, but to sacrifice some part of myself with either path I choose.

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