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unperfectashley 08-11-2012 05:33 AM

New to this.
Hello All,

Looking for some views and opinions on my type of relationship. I have a boyfriend, and a girlfriend but my boyfriend and girlfriend are also with each other. My boyfriend likes to call our relationship a "Threesome" Relationship. It's been almost a year since our relationship has started and there have been alot of issues in it. Examples, Jealousy, cheating and unplanned pregnancies. These things have put alot of strain on our relationship. We have frequent fights and arguements. My boyfriend and girlfriend have been together for almost 5 years and so i'm the newb. I have alot isssues feeling like i am the third wheel at times and that i don't belong. I love them both but one more than the other. Really need someone to talk to, who understands how i feel and can actually be supportive of my lifestyle choice.

GalaGirl 08-11-2012 05:51 AM


Sounds like your triad does not have a solid framework for how you all agree to be together in right relationship. Something listing expected rights and responsibilities. That's mine.

I'd suggest checking out secondary's rights -- you don't sound like a secondary in a heirarchy style configuration but some of that "third wheel" feeling is covered. The rest of the site is very helpful. So's Serolynne.


kdt26417 08-11-2012 07:34 PM

Hey UP Ashley,
Welcome to our forum.

We technically call your kind of dynamic a "triad" (or even "delta/triangle"). Threesome tends to speak more of the phenomenon where three people have sex together. Not that the labels matter. As you've found, every triad is different, and very few triads are perfectly balanced.

Make sure you do a lot of high-quality communication with each other. Set a date once a week or once a month, depending on how much drama you're dealing with, to sit down and talk to each other, share feelings, update each other on what's up in each of your minds and hearts, etc.

Hopefully, Polyamory.com can help you with the bumps along the way.

Glad you could join us.
Kevin T.

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