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-   -   Introducing myself (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2637)

LadyMonterey 04-25-2010 02:45 PM

Introducing myself
Good morning

I thought I should introduce myself. I registered this morning in need to connect. I ended a 32 year monogamous common-law marriage approximately 2 years ago. In my time of re-evaluation, I started to think about the things I had set aside way back & polyamory was one of them. I did some research & found that I could apply a lot of the principles to dating which I started last fall though an on-line dating service. It was easier that way. I was quite candid about not committing to one person right away, I encouraged discussions & made agreements as I went along. I was always upfront about dating several men. I'm presently in an open relationship with 2 men. A new snag I wasn't handling well pushed me to connect with poly people. I'm looking forward to reading posts & communicating wiht others.


otter 04-25-2010 04:23 PM

Hello and welcome.

idealist 04-26-2010 02:17 AM

Welcome Lady M.
I am a single female- 52 years old. I currently have 4 male lovers. One of them lives 1,000 miles away, so we only see each other about one week per year. Two of them live out of town during the week, so we only see each other on weekends. And the other one has a primary lover and I'm his secondary. My guys all know one another and like each other. If I'm sleeping, don't pinch me because I don't want to wake up!!
Anyway....... I know things shift and change. On of my guys has met a lover in the town he works in and they are seeing more of each other. He may decide to be monogamous with her, which is fine with me, but it will change things for me and him. There are so many variables with this lifestyle and it requires emotional strength and personal awareness.
So, anyway....this is a good group of people- glad you found it and hope to hear more from you !!!

LadyMonterey 04-26-2010 03:47 AM

Introducing myself
Thanks otter & idealist. "Emotional strength" ... yeah, that's a little shaky. I wasn't expecting to fall for someone as soon as I returned dating but I did. The connection is overwhelming. And then to find another man who finds my candidness refreshing & such a relief! Wow! They know about each other, have similar interests, but they do not want to meet. The snag is the first one's ex girlfriend contacted him. Though he told her he was involved, I, out of wanting to be fair, told him he shouldn't remain monogamous to me if he was accepting my not being monogamous. I'm not sure I did the right thing but I knew I wouldn't be comfortable remaining quiet. I don't want resentment building. I agreed, reluctantly, that he treat us as equals, & asked that she acknowledge that she was getting involved in an open relationship. She didn't want to, I pushed, & he backed out saying it was too complicated. I know I'm going to run into this a lot, & have already back in Dec. with another man who was easy to let go. But this one is much too important for me to lose. I've arranged for us to talk & hope I can work something out.

idealist 04-26-2010 04:18 AM

Talking is good. That is the only way to create understanding between the two of you!! I don't have any more to say right now, except.....Good luck and keep us posted !!

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