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-   -   Our 3some (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26245)

dcollinstx 08-07-2012 03:26 AM

Our 3some
 
Well ive always loved watching my husband with another woman. N I join in too cause I do enjoy sex with all of us.well now he loves her n dont want to give her up me it was just fun Im not in love with her. N im like ok then she can come around u be happy ag as in but he says he wants me happy n I ask about dating other guys n he said no it hurts him too much but I have to be ok with her n his love soooo im confused and we was breaking it off with her cause I was hurt n confused over his love for her

GalaGirl 08-07-2012 03:30 AM

Sooo.... basically you guys broke up with N? :confused:

And you are where now? Are you going to close again? Or talking to see if you can get a better framework for how you want to be open so BOTH of you are getting your wants, needs, and limits heard?

GG

dcollinstx 08-07-2012 03:35 AM

So I invited her back so we can work in the poly relationship n my insecurities n was talking about me exploring my options n my husband is all upset :eek: for me asking so know im not sure were we at except together we dont want to hurt each other n im not sure that I can love the gf

GalaGirl 08-07-2012 03:40 AM

You do not have to love the GF.

It's usually easier for each of you to have your own Other than to try to find a shared person to suit both. Remember the person themselves is a PERSON -- with wants, needs, and limits of their own. They might not want BOTH people either!

I think you might benefit from the worksheets at opening up, reading more than two, and perhaps the basics at serolynne.

HTH!
GG

dcollinstx 08-07-2012 03:43 AM

Thats what i was thinking but he know i do like girls sometimes n hes to scared to share me with another man and i dont want to hurt gf cause she loves me she loves us both this is so hard its not easy

beegorski 08-07-2012 03:46 AM

thanks for the heads up to the more than two site- wow, very helpful!

dcollinstx 08-07-2012 03:50 AM

Yes thank you for sites and im downloaded the check list

Emm 08-07-2012 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaGirl (Post 146878)
Sooo.... basically you guys broke up with N? :confused:

I think "n" is an abbreviation for "and" rather than the initial/name of the girlfriend.

CielDuMatin 08-07-2012 03:40 PM

I think that you and your husband should talk more about what his fears are at you having another man, if that is what you are interested in. Maybe you can work together to put things in place so that those fears won't ever become real, but so you can still explore the relationships you want to, while he explores what he wants.

dcollinstx 08-07-2012 05:29 PM

Honesty
 
well i know its a step but wow looking at why i was so angry and jealous its open me up. we did talk so it has helped a lot the web sites that u sent me to galaGirl helped me a lot. I'm feeling so much better and him and i promised each other to be honest about what we are feeling. and we also going to include our gf so if we have a problem we all going to talk about it cause i dont like not telling her cause then shes like left out. and he has started really looking at himself too. Thank you all for your input :)


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