Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   Introductions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Into about myself and my triad (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26235)

onceuponadream 08-06-2012 07:06 PM

Into about myself and my triad
 
Hello all.

I don’t want to be a lurker on the board so I thought I would register and say hello.

As I am seeing a lot of “stop posting personals here in the intro” I want to start by saying I am in an extremely satisfying and functional exclusive triad. I am not looking for anything but a bit of support, ideas, and maybe some guidance from time to time. I hope to share a bit of myself and my experiences. My life is confusing and hetic enough....so any help is quite...helpful.

So, about me. I am a 34 year old professional male who is part of an interesting, and loving triad (this is what is working for us right now). I am married to one wonderful woman going on 7 years and we have been dating another wonderful woman for about 3 years now. About 6 months ago our girlfriend moved in with us. This move has produced a massive amount of growth and change in all of us….My wife and I are poly-exclusive, and our girlfriend is polyamorous.

I have a pre-school child. We are all a bit concerned about letting others know about us and only a few open-minded family members know of our lifestyle.

Until recently I did not know that there is still a lot of discrimination around Washington DC when a white man and a black women go GROCERY SHOPPING together. We get more odd looks and headshakes when my girlfriend and I go out than when we all go out together. Very odd…and a bit upsetting.

Also some people, even very liberal people, are still extremely narrow minded about love and its definition. I am deeply in love with both women. A few friends who I have told about my lifestyle ask, “Well, who do you love more?”…..WHO DO I LOVE MORE??? I love them as uniquely as they are! It is so very different there is no comparison. They both have my respect, my trust, and my affections, but to quantify love down to "more and less"....grrr.

So, yeah, finding sites like this and reading some wonderful articles about poly lifestyle have shown me that not only can love be shared and not reserved but that in many ways it can be a richer and more fulfilling love for everyone.

CielDuMatin 08-06-2012 07:29 PM

Welcome to the forum! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by onceuponadream (Post 146796)
A few friends who I have told about my lifestyle ask, “Well, who do you love more?”…..WHO DO I LOVE MORE???

Oh yes, I get this quite a bit, along with the implication that I am somehow afraid of commitment... excuse me? Have you even bothered to see how committed we are to each other?

There are some narrow-minded people around, wherever you are, and whether or not you eat chicken. We have to deal with them regularly.

kdt26417 08-10-2012 09:20 PM

Hello Once Upon,
Welcome to our forum.

It's sad to hear of how backward/ignorant people can be, but not surprising. We live far from the enlightened society I hope will someday be in the future.

As for who you "love more," that's like asking which of your kids you love the most. It's an irrational question, and just shows how far people have to go.

Anyway, I'm glad you could join us on our site.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.

onceuponadream 08-13-2012 01:20 PM

Thank you for the comments and welcome.

I am hoping to have more time to look over more posts and be a bit more active in the near future.

:)

opalescent 08-13-2012 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onceuponadream (Post 146796)
Until recently I did not know that there is still a lot of discrimination around Washington DC when a white man and a black women go GROCERY SHOPPING together. We get more odd looks and headshakes when my girlfriend and I go out than when we all go out together. Very odd…and a bit upsetting.

I just wanted to comment on this. Forgive me if I tell you stuff you already know.

I grew up 'inside the Beltway' in the Maryland suburbs of DC. There is a lot to love about this area and I do enjoy living in Maryland.

But it's got its baggage. Did you grow up elsewhere? If so, DC with its monuments, and federal government, and pretty neighborhoods may not seem like an old Southern city. But that is what it is once you strip away the fancy Political Center of the Universe stuff. It is still a very segregated place, not by law but by class and money and fear and all kinds of tangled pathologies. So a white man obviously romantically involved with a black woman doing relationship things - groceries!!! - is going to set off triggers for many people, white and black. You and she are crossing all sorts of boundaries and challenging conventions just by existing and being public. I'm sorry you and your girlfriend have to deal with this nonsense. As you interact more with your neighbors, you may get to the place where the three of you are kind of accepted as the Odd but Nice White Man, the Sister with Some Different Ideas, and the Wife who Tolerates Some Weird Shit. It's progress of a sort. DC is very conventional but has a place for eccentrics.


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:00 PM.