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-   -   I don't want to stop myself... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26232)

castle33 08-06-2012 05:21 PM

I don't want to stop myself...
 
I know I know I know. I found out that feelings are shared. I'm married and my husband and I are really serious about a couple we are great friends with. Things are great. The only problem is that since I'v actually found out that the "other" husband does indeed like me, I have been finding it hard to stop thinking about it. I spoke with my husband and we both agreed to one day sit and talk with the other man, but I am scared that I won't be able to control myself. I'm not talking sex or even kissing. I just crave his company. Being close to him relaxes me. It is hard to put into words but I am sure you guys know what I"m getting at.

I am not new to poly and I know that if I make one wrong move I could ruin things. I guess I just needed to vent. This couple is vanilla and they are slowly learning about themselves. They know how my husband and I live and they still care about us. The other husband is ready, sort of, to talk about things with my husband and I but the three of us know that his wife needs time... a lot of time. She is my best friend. I don't want to hurt anyone.

It feels good to get this out. Even if it's just here. I'm not going to let myself do anything stupid. I'm too strong for that. I just need a few "girl, you betta' watch yo' self" comments to slap me in the face and remind me that I can do this.

Passionate1 08-06-2012 05:35 PM

Gurllll... you betta watch yo self!!!! =) hows that? You know that you only move as fast as the slowest person. And if you really care about both of these people as much as you say you do then this will be a rule you will have to holdfast to. I give your vanilla friends a lot of credit for exploring this at their own pace. Slow and steady wins the race... if his presence is that calming for you then awesome! Invite them both over for more dinners, drinks, and all around chats with clothes on and bask away in the calming energy he brings! =)

GalaGirl 08-06-2012 08:55 PM

Enjoy the crush from a distance for now. Things worth waiting for are worth waiting for.

I actually have one of those -- a crush at a distance and I just enjoy it when around the person. Without person knowing I crush. *shrug* DH knows and enjoys teasing me about it, but I'm content to leave it be where it is for now.

Just because we crush doesn't mean we have to DO anything about it, you know?

Hang in there.

GG

Carolina 08-06-2012 10:30 PM

Sometimes you just need to get it out and gush a bit. ;-)
Sounds like you know what you'redoing and need to do. Obviously communication is key and making sure everyone is comfortable is most important. But enjoy your swoony feelings! And enjoy your the company of these friends and this fella's comforting vibe. Just be careful not to overwhelm the wifey. Take it slow and enjoy the process. :-)

castle33 08-07-2012 01:09 PM

omg i just typed a long ass reply and lost it. boooo!

well, i'll keep it short. i'm being a good girl. i am so mad now that i lost all i was typing. oh well.

i talked to the hubby last night. so now all four people know that the feelings are there. but they don't know that i am the only one that knows how each one feels. all three have told me how they feel about it all. who likes who, how comfy they are with sex and whatnot, how they feel close to each other but still not willing to say anything for fear of rejection and just plain ole' tabooish stuff. i feel as if i am a card master at the blackjack table. all the players know the rules but no one is ready to show their hand.


i will be spending time at the other couple's house tomorrow. nothing fancy as uaual but i am looking forward to it. i will keep my hands to myself but my mind will be off leash ;)

GalaGirl 08-07-2012 01:34 PM

Quote:

i will keep my hands to myself but my mind will be off leash
That's an amusing turn of phrase!

Hope things are going well then in your world.

GG :)

castle33 08-07-2012 02:47 PM

i'm i dog person. so dog terms are in my everyday vocab... hum, hope my bf's husband realizes this lol.

Jade 08-07-2012 11:41 PM

Vanilla and slow. Vanilla and slow. You may know the cards, but you don't know how they'll play them. Please, for your own sake, remember they are vanilla and slow.

castle33 08-08-2012 08:22 AM

found this old thread and it hit home:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11797

i have been a member of this site on and off for a few years now. i used to be girlcaleb but i had some trouble getting my account back. when i was girlcaleb i was in a poly/open relationship. that is also when i met my husband and my ex boyfriend's new lady. so much has happened since then.

now i remember why i loved this site so much. i have to make myself sit down and actually read other folk's stories and thoughts. it is the only way i can process all the crazy in my own head. i can talk to my ex, my husband, and.... well, that's about it. so being here really makes a difference. nothing new on the updates today. i'm watching the other couples house right now and some other very important things. i love being here. it gives me a break from my stressful but good D/s relationship with my husband.

thinking about having another game night soon. the gang (as i now like to call the three people involved) has been really busy lately and i think we all need to just chill and be back in the same room with each other. it's been awhile. the hubby will be coming over here for lunch and the bf's hubby will also be here. so snacks will be served.

oh, one more random bit of rambling: not only are the four of us comfortable around each other but we both have dogs. my pup loves their pup. i can bring him over anytime i want. i am a huge dog person and if you wanna' love me you have to love my dog. right now the dogs are getting on my nerves. running and playing. it makes me smile to think that i've been this lucky. even though i want to turn around and tell the dogs to "BE STILL FOR TWO SECONDS!"

i'm happy here. now i'm going to search their fridge for snacks...

nycindie 08-08-2012 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by castle33 (Post 147041)
i used to be girlcaleb but i had some trouble getting my account back.

Welcome back. Did you ask a Moderator if they could help you with that?


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