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-   -   Jealousy is not a real emotion... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26180)

Passionate1 08-03-2012 03:09 PM

Jealousy is not a real emotion...
Did you know jealousy is NOT an emotion all its own? It's actually an umbrella title for the emotions it conjures; fear, abandonment, envy, possessiveness, insecurity, etc. No one can MAKE you jealous, it is only the actions of another person that sparks a trigger feeling in you! So ultimately it has nothing to do with the other person. The other person can help by being respectful of your feelings and help you work through them by altering behavior etc. But its really all in your hands... the more secure you are as a person on all fronts the less you affected by these emotions. But a little jealousy is good... it instill value in a relationship and reminds both parties just how important they are to each other.

GalaGirl 08-03-2012 05:42 PM


Only I take it another step out -- all emotion is emotion. Rain is rain, sun is sun, feeling is feeling.

Internal weather. Let it blow on through. We cannot help how we feel when we feel it. We cannot choose that. What we get to choose is how to REACT to the feeling or ACT WITH INTENTION to the feeling.

People overcomplicate it. It's very simple. It may not be fun to feel all the time, or easy to feel, but it's pretty simple.

All of us can own our own baggage that we carry around.


nycindie 08-03-2012 07:49 PM

Yes, I think most people are aware of this. We have often talked here about uncovering the other emotions that fuel jealousy or are lurking behind it. You may enjoy the long discussion on the topic in our Master Thread here: Jealousy, Envy, Insecurity, etc. General Discussion

Passionate1 08-03-2012 08:02 PM

Actually nycindi I would have to slightly disagree with you. So many times I have heard people that are just "SOOO JEALOUS" and they don't know why. It comes as a huge surprise to them that they aren't really jealous, they are angry, scared, insecure, etc. It seems the very moment they realize this it becomes a very different issue for them. One in which they see how they actually own this. Its huge to get people to this point. Instead of "He hurt me!" to "I feel insecure when he does that..." There is room to work with the second perspective, and plenty of room to heal also. And Gala I absolutely agree... all emotions are neither good or bad, they are felt. It is our reaction to them that gives them positive or negative qualities.

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