Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Poly Discussions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=2)
-   -   Should I say something? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26011)

Kommander 07-28-2012 12:03 AM

Should I say something?
 
I started a new job on Monday, and today during my lunch break, a car in the parking lot caught my attention. The license plate... I need to be careful here... is a variant spelling of the word "unicorn" that is not immediately obvious and had several stickers with the word "love" and hearts. I didn't get a close enough look to see if she had an infinity heart sticker or something else overtly poly-related, but, well, it seemed like the owner of the car may be subtly identifying as poly.

A co-worker returning from lunch walked past a few moments later, and I stopped her and asked who the car belonged to. Turns out it belongs to a girl that caught my eye the day I started working at this place.

I'm wondering if I should approach her about this? Not for the reasons you guys are probably thinking. While I am extremely attracted to this girl, I don't think she'd someone I'd want to date. Although, I don't know her... at all, really. Anyway, girl that catches my eye the first day being poly; my life isn't that awesome. The reason I want to approach her about it is because I'm assuming she's not poly, is unaware of what the word "unicorn" means among our kind, and may want to get another plate. If it is just coincidence, I don't think it's the kind of thing that would result in random people propositioning her, but she may want to be aware of this possible interpretation. If I was in a similar situation, like if Xared meant "person that likes to be forcibly taken by large men and doesn't believe in safe words" or something, I'd definitely want to be made aware. However, I'm not her, so I don't know if it's a good idea or not.

CielDuMatin 07-28-2012 12:08 AM

If that's you're only motivation for talking to her, then I wouldn't worry. There aren't exactly a ton of poly folk around that would misinterpret this.

If she isn't poly, then at some time in the future she may well get approached by a unicorn hunter... so they talk to her, realise she isn't poly and then move on - where's the harm? No need for her to get a new plate, I'd say.

That's if that's you're only motivation... If there were other motivations, I might give different advice...

GalaGirl 07-28-2012 12:20 AM

You seem to want to talk to the lady about her plate. So talk to the lady about her plate.

"Hi there, noticed you are new around work. Your plate caught my eye. Wassup with the unicorn thing?"

And see where it goes. KISS -- keep it simple, silly. :)

GG

Kommander 07-28-2012 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 145666)
That's if that's you're only motivation... If there were other motivations, I might give different advice...

Very rarely do my actions have a single motivation behind them. It is my primary motivation though, probably about 90% of it, more or less.

But yeah, if she is poly I'd like to know. Like I said, while I'm attracted to her, I don't think we'd be compatible, but I barely know her so I can't be sure of that. She does seem like someone I could be friends with and I would like to get to know her better, and it's an excuse to talk to her. Also, showing concern for the well-being of others is usually considered an admirable quality, and I do enjoy being admired. So yeah, there are other motivations.

If you were talking about trying to get into her pants and being sneaky about it, no, not something I do. If I want to get into someone's pants I'm pretty direct about it.


Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaGirl (Post 145669)
"Hi there, noticed you are new around work. Your plate caught my eye. Wassup with the unicorn thing?"

Actually, I'm new around work. She's been there... several years, I think. I'm the one in the new situation, which is why I felt the need to run this past others.

GalaGirl 07-28-2012 01:32 AM

Fair 'nuff.

Rewrite:

"Hi there, I am new around work. Your plate caught my eye. Wassup with the unicorn thing?"

GG :)

nycindie 07-28-2012 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaGirl (Post 145669)
KISS -- keep it simple, silly.

I always say,"keep it simple, sweetie." ;)

Kommander 07-29-2012 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 145771)
Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaGirl (Post 145669)
KISS -- keep it simple, silly.

I always say,"keep it simple, sweetie." ;)

I've always heard it with the word "stupid" in there somewhere. However, pointing out stupidity in others is generally considered impolite, so I thank you both for not doing so.

Also, over-thinking things is hard-wired into my personality. I can't not do it.

KyleKat 07-29-2012 07:39 AM

I don't think the unicorn misinterpretation is a good thing to point out. My wife loves unicorns. It has nothing to do with our lifestyle. Don't ruin someone's love for mythical creatures.

opalescent 07-29-2012 01:41 PM

Wait a bit?
 
I personally would wait a while, get a sense of the new workplace, the people there, the spoken and unspoken rules of the place, before bringing this up. She may be totally open to her coworkers about being poly, or her love of mythical unicorns (not the poly one but the original). It seems premature to me to ask her something this specific this early.

AnnabelMore 07-29-2012 04:41 PM

Also, despite its negative connotations, some people do embrace the unicorn label.


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:58 AM.