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-   -   Delaware - My husband could benefit from a relationship! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25991)

SrAh 07-26-2012 08:54 PM

Delaware - My husband could benefit from a relationship!
My husband and I are new to this and finding a boyfriend was easy for me. He is having a hard time finding a girlfriend to share time with. Anyone have advice!? Or any one out there looking for a boyfriend?! :) I promise, this guys a keeper! I married him! :p
But seriously, he's having a hard time with the transition of letting me venture out there while he is at home unoccupied. I'm sure that's a common problem. Realistic advice!?

beckinooo 07-29-2012 07:41 PM

Sent you a private message. I'm in south jersey.

gidgetpsych 08-07-2012 03:07 AM

Philadelphia is similiar
I agree, we are not new but every time hubby is single we have the same problem...men seem much more open to the idea than women. Have you gotten any good advice?

freethinking 08-08-2012 12:46 AM

Lol We have experienced the same here too

SrAh 08-13-2012 08:05 PM

I haven't received any advice really! Just a bunch of "Oh yeah us too" comments.

GraceSmith 08-13-2012 09:28 PM

well, I must say that I am experiencing quite the opposite. My husband seems to find people he can be close to without much trouble at all. I haven't been able to connect with any of his relationships...spouses. I think it could be because they don't text, call or email very well. I have noticed that this seems to be fairly detrimental to developing any real relationship.
Am I unique in the world of poly? It would be nice to think that I have dozens of opportunities awaiting me. LOL I can understand what he is going through. It's tough being the odd one out.
I hope that he finds happiness in someone. Good luck!

km34 08-13-2012 09:30 PM

I think most people just say that he needs to find something to do (a hobby, dating for himself, friends to hang out with during your dates, etc). My husband usually watches the anime he likes, since I don't enjoy it. Or goes to a gaming group. Or works on his woodworking. He really tries to either watch something I don't enjoy or leave the house, though, so that it feels like he is kind of benefiting from me being out since he gets to do something that I don't enjoy.

Dating for a married, poly guy seems to be really difficult, though. In the year since we stuck our toes in the poly waters, I've gone out with about 8 different people (at least for the first date, only 3 have led to subsequent dates) while he has had 1 woman actually go on a date with him. His crazy schedule doesn't help, but realistically it just seems to be harder for men.

I would recommend him joining some groups and trying to meet new people with similar interests. Then as he gets to know them, he may feel comfortable coming out as poly and may find some prospective dates that way. Just an idea. :)

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