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-   -   Hi (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25871)

JJ87 07-22-2012 11:23 PM

My name is JJ, and I am here because we are new to this lifestyle. So new that we, my husband and I, are so confused. We started out as swingers and have had a lot of fun with it. But not even a year into swinging, we had a situation thrown at us that made us stop and think about what we wanted out of this. A married man contacted us through a swinging website that we are members of, and asked to meet. We always meet to see if there is any attraction first, then plan on a playdate later on in the future. We were hesitant but we met with the married man and we really liked him.

Fast forward to a few weeks after our first playdate, things just didn't seem to add up with him so hubby and I started to be very persistent and asking him some very personal questions. Finally things started to make some sense after our questions were answered and we really got to know the married man.

Our MM is not available to live the lifestyle I want, but he is exclusive with us. Anyway, we've decided that we want to explore poly and I am here to learn more. Any advice or questions, hit me with them, please.

Thanks for reading!! :o

JJ87 07-23-2012 11:51 AM

I thought I would add more details to my intro. My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We have known each other since we were teenagers and have been together ever since. We married young and had kids young and now we are ready to experience some new things. We're not ready for grandkids and rocking chairs, yet!

Up to recently, I have never been with another man, however hubby has had an affair in our early years of marriage. Swinging for us has been awesome in the way that it has evolved our sex life. We've been on playdates, went to clubs, house parties, etc but even if we didn't play with other people we still came home and ravished each other. Sex has never been better!!!

I am a kindhearted person and I am always taking in strays, whether they be stray kids or animals. And, I believe that I can live this life, love 2 men at the same time. My ultimate scenario would be to have friends that would be willing to live this lifestyle with us, either in a home together or within close proximity.

Also, I wanted to touch a little bit about our MM. He gave us so much information about who he is and what he does. We have the potential to literally ruin his life (which we would never ever do) with the information he gave us, but we understand him a lot better now. Most importantly, he trusts us and we trust him. I do not trust easily, therefor this is a huge step for me.

Sorry...I do tend to ramble on... :rolleyes: Even talk to myself at times BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

kdt26417 07-23-2012 09:39 PM

Hi JJ,
Welcome to our forum.

I hope you are able to find all that you seek in the polyamorous lifestyle. Check out the "Dating & Friendship" boards if you haven't done so already.

There is a lot to learn about poly, so take your time and read some of the many threads on this site. Don't hesitate to post if you have a thought, question, or concern.

Sounds like you have a good relationship with your MM. I presume his wife knows about the situation and is okay with it?

Glad to have you aboard.
Kevin T.

JJ87 07-23-2012 10:38 PM

Hi. Thanks for the welcome.

Unfortunately, his wife does not know about this. I wish she did, but for other reasons, he cannot tell her. His wife has issues with her own sexuality and rarely talks nicely to him or even touches him so he went to seek that need elsewhere. We started out as playmates, but it turned emotional after a few dates and now... who knows where this will go. But, like I said up there somewhere in all my ramblings; he isn't able to live the exact lifestyle I'd like. However, thanks to him, I have discovered that a poly life is what I want.

TuttiandHubby 07-23-2012 11:33 PM

Hey JJ......We are new to this as well and I have a question for you....Does your MM's wife know what he is doing with you and your hubby??

JJ87 07-23-2012 11:37 PM

She does not know.

TuttiandHubby 07-23-2012 11:50 PM

I am new to this and if I am over stepping,please forgive me but if you two are having a serious relationship with a married man and his wife doesnt know,NOT going to end good for either of you!!!!! She finds out,she can not only ruin him but ruin you and your husband as well!!!!! Just my 2 cents.

JJ87 07-24-2012 12:02 AM

It can never lead to a serious relationship, and we both know it. Yes, we may get hurt but I am of the mind that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before. Or, a less sappy version is that I don't want to live a life full of 'what-if's.' She can't "ruin" us. She could make life harder for us, but not ruin us.

TuttiandHubby 07-24-2012 12:04 AM

Good outlook on it!!!!! LOL

JJ87 07-24-2012 12:33 AM

LOL Thank you! Good luck on your journey!

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