||07-20-2012 06:59 PM
Caught up in my Feelings...
i am VERY new to this lifestyle... i am in this relationship right now with me, M'Lord and His wife i will call A. A and M'Lord had split up and He came to live with me and my parents until He now got this apartment in Indy. i have been mostly living with Him these past two months. He goes off and does His thing when W/we are apart for a few days but when He asks me to come over, i drop everything i am doing and go running to Him because, yes i have only been in monogamous relationships before, so i miss Him so much... He is the center of my world. i don't want to have anyone else but i am fine with Him having others...
Now, here's MY issue.
He had a date with A on Monday, which was all fine and dandy. W/we were going to meet up on Tuesday... i called Him, texted Him ALL day and i got NOTHING from Him. Turns out, He stayed with A one more night without telling me until i was in bed for the night. i was heart broken... Then, He calls me at five thirty the next morning and tells me to get to His place before His lunch break so He could see me and to pack enough clothes for two days so i did. Wednesday night after He gets home from work, W/we go out to the arcade and for ice cream... But it felt like He was doing it to make up for worrying me on Tuesday... Then last night, Thursday night. i didn't know there was a poly meet up and, since i am 19 and it's at a bar i couldn't go. i joked around saying He should bring A and He made plans to do it... He just had her for two nights and now He is taking her out on a night that was suppose to be O/ours? Seriously?! O/our issue: Time Management.
And the thing is, this is the last week we will have alone together because our mutual friend who will be referred to as N from now on, will be here Tuesday. i wanted to do something special with Him because W/we won't be alone together for a long while now. He told me to go home for the weekend and He had a date with A on Sunday night... i had planned a picnic for Saturday, just the two of us... i am hurt. i am confused... It's like He wants me here but once i get here, something more desirable comes along... And He want's nothing to do with me anymore... What do i do? Am i in the wrong?