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-   -   Where? How? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2576)

TL4everu2 04-19-2010 02:18 AM

Where? How?
 
I'm sure you have all heard this many times before, but here I go anyway:

Where do poly ppl go to meet other poly's?

How do we find other poly's?




In my situation, my wife and I find it difficult to find other poly's in the Tampa area. We can't really be open about it due to our business. (We deal with children, and we all know how parents view "different" people) :rolleyes:


So, is there a place in the Tampa area to go meet other poly's somewhat openly? in a safe format that is.


I'm so confusing...I even confused myself.:eek:

Ariakas 04-19-2010 02:47 AM

start with your local poly group, looks like this might be a good place to start

http://www.polytampa.com/

Fetlife may have a poly section to your area.

OKC is really good for meeting poly people. At least in Vancouver and Victoria, everyone seems to be poly/open on OkC. Might be a place to find like minded people.

TL4everu2 04-19-2010 03:46 AM

Yeah, we already attend the Polytampa meetings......But it seems that we...are...somehow...different form the others who attend. Does that make sense? Plus, the meetings are more of a discussion type meeting and not really a place to "meet new people" with the intent of starting a possible relationship with...Of course, I suppose it's much like when I was single....I didn't go anywhere special to meet my wife either. LOL

Ariakas 04-19-2010 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TL4everu2 (Post 26943)
Yeah, we already attend the Polytampa meetings......But it seems that we...are...somehow...different form the others who attend. Does that make sense? Plus, the meetings are more of a discussion type meeting and not really a place to "meet new people" with the intent of starting a possible relationship with...Of course, I suppose it's much like when I was single....I didn't go anywhere special to meet my wife either. LOL

Have you ever tried just meeting people :)...most of my connections are made because I am a flirt and very talkative. Be honest about where you are coming from and how your relationship works. Poly, I find, is difficult to explain, so you meet need to find something you are comfortable with.

Maybe join a club or hobby group that can introduce you to like minded people outside of just poly groups.

You have asked a question that everyone asks. I believe it was tacit who said "surround yourself by the people you are trying to meet"...I surround myself with women and just hope a connection occurs.

hope that makes sense.

SchrodingersCat 04-19-2010 04:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TL4everu2 (Post 26943)
Yeah, we already attend the Polytampa meetings......But it seems that we...are...somehow...different form the others who attend. Does that make sense? Plus, the meetings are more of a discussion type meeting and not really a place to "meet new people" with the intent of starting a possible relationship with...Of course, I suppose it's much like when I was single....I didn't go anywhere special to meet my wife either. LOL

That really is the best way to meet poly people, "different" or not... the only other way is to meet people the usual way, and keep looking until you find some that you are compatible with and are poly... could be a long wait.

It's probably a lot easier to find compatible people in a poly setting than it is to find poly people in an everyday setting...

Zanie 04-19-2010 09:48 PM

Join the SCA . Or find a local sci-fi fan group. My therapist suggested, when I was expressing similar thoughts some time ago, that we should go to swing clubs, at least the kind where there is more of a social vibe, not to swing, per se, but to meet people in a similar mind-set.

We would be doing some or all of these things (actually for us it would be returning to the SCA) if we didn't have children and had time for a social life :P.

NeonKaos 04-19-2010 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zanie (Post 27011)
Join the SCA . Or find a local sci-fi fan group. My therapist suggested, when I was expressing similar thoughts some time ago, that we should go to swing clubs, at least the kind where there is more of a social vibe, not to swing, per se, but to meet people in a similar mind-set.

We would be doing some or all of these things (actually for us it would be returning to the SCA) if we didn't have children and had time for a social life :P.

People actually join the SCA for the purpose of hooking up for dating and/or sex and not because they are interested in medieval stuff? I had a feeling that was true sometimes... I only say that because I thought of joining the SCA at one point but decided against it because I'm into "medieval stuff" but not so much the "social stuff".

Zanie 04-20-2010 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YGirl (Post 27041)
People actually join the SCA for the purpose of hooking up for dating and/or sex and not because they are interested in medieval stuff? I had a feeling that was true sometimes... I only say that because I thought of joining the SCA at one point but decided against it because I'm into "medieval stuff" but not so much the "social stuff".

I could have phrased that better.

People join the SCA for all kinds of reasons. Because they like to dress up in funny clothes and hang out with their friends. Because they are drawn to other people with "alternative" worldviews. Because they are deeply and passionately interested in researching medieval crafts, philosophy, or arts. Because they love making their own costumes "from sheep to dress". And because they have heard from various people (including me, I guess :P ) that there are many folk in the SCA who practice various kinds of alternative relationship styles.

That's not often (I would guess) the first reason someone joins the SCA, however, so I should have said:

"If you are interested in these kind of non-mainstream hobby groups you may also find they attract other people interested in exploring non-monogamous relationship styles".

:)

NeonKaos 04-20-2010 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zanie (Post 27049)
I could have phrased that better.

People join the SCA for all kinds of reasons. Because they like to dress up in funny clothes and hang out with their friends. Because they are drawn to other people with "alternative" worldviews. Because they are deeply and passionately interested in researching medieval crafts, philosophy, or arts. Because they love making their own costumes "from sheep to dress". And because they have heard from various people (including me, I guess :P ) that there are many folk in the SCA who practice various kinds of alternative relationship styles.

That's not often (I would guess) the first reason someone joins the SCA, however, so I should have said:

"If you are interested in these kind of non-mainstream hobby groups you may also find they attract other people interested in exploring non-monogamous relationship styles".

:)

I could have phrased it better too - when I said "social stuff" I really meant all the stuff that doesn't have to do with medieval-ism, not just the dating/sex stuff.

Sorry about that.

TL4everu2 04-20-2010 01:52 AM

Interesting....Problem now then: We don't like to dress up funny. LOL We actually went to a costume party for halloween this past year....But we really didn't fit in well, and felt VERY uncomfortable. LOL We just aren't the social butterflies we probably need to be. :(


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