Hi people, just saying hello!
Just thought I'd do the proper thing and write an intro so people could see it... I've skimmed this forum a couple of times as an anonymous, but thought I would finally just jump in.
I'm a Bi/Pansexual guy from Western Australia, and have been going out with an amazing non-binary person (who assents to being called my boyfriend :P) for almost two years now. They ("his" preferred pronoun) are beautiful and loving and supportive, and unashamedly polyamorous identity-wise. Over the time we have been dating, I have managed to let my very strong monogamous preferences slide in order to arrive at a relationship in which we are both completely happy, which I still consider a work in progress. So much has my perspective changed that, only a few months ago, I was confident enough to approach an angelic young guy at a party and ask him if he wanted to go out with me. He is a great guy, and we also love each other, although I don't exactly get to see as much of him as I would like (he is very independent and has a lot going on in his life most of the time). He is also very supportive and understanding when it comes to my "primary" relationship, and the two of them have occasionally snuggled and shown affection to each other as well, although we are more a "V" than anything. Both of my partners don't have any other partners, in one case because of just being too busy (my secondary) and in the other because I have been having some major jealousy issues and (ironic though it may sound) because we are going slowly in order to make sure this thing works, which is made easier by the frequent absence of my secondary and the unending patience of my primary, not to mention their (the primary's) willingness to go slower than me so that I can convince myself that the world is not going to end etc if they decide to do stuff with others.
The main reason I joined on here is that there have been several times lately where, through pure chance more often than not, I have had stuff to get off my chest (especially related to polyamory) and I have not been able to contact either of my partners in order to do so. Therefore, I thought you good people might be able to help. Also, I am a very private person normally, so I am hoping that I will be able to discuss hard problems and issues on here more easily due to my relative anonymity. For those, just in case i get redirected or anything, see my other posts!
PS: Oh yeah... in terms of relevant details, I am 27, my primary (Pan Non-Binary) is 24, and my secondary (Bi Male) is 18. You can call me Polywhirl and them P (for Personfriend/Primary) and B (for Boyfriend) respectively if need be... yes, I did say I was fiercely private! :P
Welcome to our forum.
You should certainly be able to find good opportunity to vent here when the chips are down; you'll get helpful thoughts and feedback from the other members as well. Sounds like you've had your difficulties making your "leap into the poly world," and I'm sure you'll have more such challenges. So, you are wise to join up on Polyamory.com and get some community support.
I'm glad you could join us, and hope you'll find the support that you seek.
Hello Polywhirl and welcome to the forum.
I joined up myself a while back for similar reasons - I had new polystuff going on that I wanted to talk about and process. In my case it wasn't that my partners weren't available (they live with me) but that I didn't want to push them into "conversation overload" - we all process at a different pace. Also I think that talking with "outside" people who aren't involved can lend some more objective perspectives into the mix. (My closest friends in real life are supportive and I can talk to them but they are not poly so can lend a sympathetic ear but can't really empathize.)
I found that writing here really helps me clarify my thoughts and sort out the "feelings of the moment" from the "underlying root values." I hope that this forum provides what you seek as well.
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