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-   -   Villo and Skyla (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25157)

Villo 06-29-2012 12:24 AM

Villo and Skyla
I wanted to take some time to talk about more journey and exploration. Over the last year my wife, Skyla, and I discovered our mutual interest in the bdsm world. Through this she met a man who she connects and plays with in that realm. During her time with him she discovered that she really liked him and had a crush on him. Now we have been married for just about three years. We have a great relationship and our communication with each other is constant. A few months back Skyla informed me that she might be interested in being in a romantic relationship with this other man. Much like the stories of most, I was taken back, became defensive, and put a wall to protect what I thought was a threat to our relationship. This went on for a while as I processed everything and we talked about everything to do about these new feelings.

This is also when I found this forum. I explored every article on jealousy and mono/poly relationships. I am a hound for information. A few weeks ago I found this article and it spoke to me immensely. It spoke to me in such a way and finally it clicked that through all my anger and worry, my wife was truly not going to leave me for someone else. She truly is a loving person and wants to share that with others. I have finally accepted that for her this might be everything that shes been missing in life. I don't believe that I am interested in practicing poly at this time. But I am interested in our marriage being open and exploring sexual freedom. I'm anxious to see where this journey goes. I think that with being open and honest and talking about all of our feelings, we can have a such a fun and different life with each other and with others. Before I ramble I am done! Thank you all.

ps. as I re-read this to myself, it sounds so trivial and quick. But this has been a long year :)

CielDuMatin 07-02-2012 03:11 PM

I am glad that you posted about this.

For me (and I know others will differ in their opinions) having any sort of intimate contact with another opens up barriers and allows affection to grow. Some talk about swinging and how they thought it would just be NSA sex, but ended up falling in love with the person, others talk about BSDM and how it not about sex or relationships, but the intimacy that I have seen in BDSM relationships often causes the affects to grow.

Undoubtedly there are some for whom this doesn't apply.

I wish you luck on your continued journey, and hope that is is a happy one.

Villo 07-02-2012 03:26 PM

Thank you CielDuMatin! I wish you well also.

butterflywaterfall 07-03-2012 03:25 AM

Thank you for sharing this article!

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