Hello from Maryland
My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years. Until about three years ago, we were mono. I am the one who asked to open the marriage. At first it was just so I could mess around, I guess. I had felt that I had missed out on some of the fun that I should have been having as a young adult. We got married when I was 19.
Well, my husband found an old classmate and they decided to start a relationship, and I found that I enjoyed her husband's company. Without realizing that what we were doing had a name (polyamory)...we forged a very strong and deep love with each other and now we consider ourselves in a marriage of four instead of just two. In a nutshell, I have two husbands that I love. Our lines are a bit blurry, but we do try to honor Primary and Secondary. We also live 7 hours apart from each other...so that helps, I think...:p
I'm still trying to figure this all out...but I'm also just going with the flow as our relationships continue to grow. I look forward to learning from others on here. I am so pleased to be able to have such an open and honest conversation with my husband about all of this, and I'm thrilled to know that we aren't the only ones who felt a need for more, and that it's ok and it has even made us a closer couple for it. :)
Welcome to the forum!
Sounds like you are making it work for you - that's great. It's always heartening to hear more stories about folks who are just doing it. Folks tend to post mostly when they have problems, and that can distort things to make it look like poly is nothing but problems.
So one question, if you don't mind - you wrote about "trying to honor" the Primary/Secondary - is there a reason why you try to do that? Some folks prefer it, others just throw it out the window as not necessary. It's certainly not mandatory. :)
I have no problems with questions. I think we try to honor the Primary and the Secondary just to maintain a bit of a structure for our kids. There are three, and they age in range from 6 to 16. Again, we are just sort of sorting thru everything. Ohterwise, I think we are all content to just be in a marriage of four. :) Thanks for the warm welcome!
Just wanted to add my own welcome.
I think it's somewhat fortuitous when two complete couples click like you guys have, so I'm impressed (and happy for you). I have good optimism that the kids will be okay, they are often better at "adapting to the unusual" than we adults are.
That's tough living seven hours away from the other couple. It sounds like you're coping with the distance pretty well, though.
Glad to have you amongst us.
TY Kevin...as I type this...I'm currently with the other couple...feeling really happy with my other guy.
And you are right...kids are sooo awesome...they are doing well so far.
I had no idea that quads are so unusual...makes me even more thankful for my family!! :)
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