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-   -   Deconde this: "Something real" (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25086)

CielDuMatin 06-26-2012 07:28 PM

Deconde this: "Something real"
 
Not for the first time I have been baffled by what is in folks' personal ads. most of them I have been able to work out for myself, but I am utterly stuck with one phrase I have seen multiple times - "something real". It's usually in the contexts of "looking for something real".

This must be code for something, because I see it so often, so what does this mean, in plain english? I mean, what else IS there, except real? Fake? Virtual? Are there people who would look at the ad and say "Ohhh, they're looking for something real, that doesn't interest me".

Any insights?

Damnit, can't edit the typo in the title :(

Tonberry 06-26-2012 07:36 PM

I think they mean something serious, committed? But I'm not sure. I agree it's a weird way to phrase it.

km34 06-27-2012 01:25 AM

I usually translate it to "something not purely sexual" or "something that lasts beyond one date/meet".

wildflowers 06-27-2012 02:05 AM

I would interpret it as looking for something emotionally honest and open, not just superficial.

GalaGirl 06-27-2012 02:34 AM

I'd email the source and go "what's that mean to you?" if you are interested in the rest of the profile.

Because to ME? Keeping it real is about up front, radical honesty and communication.

Life is incredibly wonderful, and incredibly UGH sometimes. I would want to date someone who can surf the peaks and the valleys with me and not get all namby pamby emotional weenie about emotional management in a rough patch. I'm not going to throw in the towel just cuz it's rough, but enough times of emotional weenie/avoidy nonsense and I may rethink why I want to sign up for surfing Life with you to begin with!

It's ok to feel scared or nevous or whatever but for god's sake SPIT IT OUT. Don't add to the UGH factor by running around in circles or gaslighting me.

It's all fun to be at the "Wheeeee!" times. But then what about the "Aw, man! Poo!" times?

I guess in my own ad it would read more like "Let's keep it real. Radical honesty and communication up front plz. No emotional weenies or fair weather people."

Heh.

I have been told I'm very intense, very bold, and that's part of the appeal of me. I've also been told I'm intimidating and scary with how up front I am. Guess who I date? The ones that find this up-front-ness appealing!

I rather weed them out at the get go so it's more compatible personalities.

GalaGirl

NovemberRain 06-27-2012 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaGirl (Post 141103)
Life is incredibly wonderful, and incredibly UGH sometimes. I would want to date someone who can surf the peaks and the valleys with me and not get all namby pamby emotional weenie about emotional management in a rough patch. I'm not going to throw in the towel just cuz it's rough, but enough times of emotional weenie/avoidy nonsense and I may rethink why I want to sign up for surfing Life with you to begin with!

GG, can I borrow that? I LOVE IT. Struggling with such thoughts at this very moment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaGirl (Post 141103)
I have been told I'm very intense, very bold, and that's part of the appeal of me. I've also been told I'm intimidating and scary with how up front I am. Guess who I date? The ones that find this up-front-ness appealing!

Don't think I've said hallo yet, but I'm absolutely loving your participation on these boards. Love your style, love your advice, love your outlook. <3

GalaGirl 06-27-2012 01:28 PM

Sure -- borrow whatever you like.

And thanks for the welcome!

GG

ksandra 06-28-2012 06:22 AM

For me something real has always been about two humans being, well human together. Sometimes people get all caught up in the idea of what it means to be in a relationship and they can convince themselves that things have to. Be a certain way of that they have to behave in a certain way because of who they're with. If you're being real the. It's allowing for everything to dealt with in a realistic fashion and for two people to relate to each other on an even, down to earth level.


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