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-   -   Non-nerd Poly in Chicago (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25007)

Lots2lov 06-24-2012 02:56 AM

Non-nerd Poly in Chicago
I am in Chicago. I have been struggling with finding non-nerd poly people. By that I mean I am more of a guy who reads books instead of watching tv or playing video games. I don't watch a lot of movies or know many movie references. I am more of a hippie type who loves the outdoors and would rather go camping for the weekend than spend the weekend in a hotel. I know their must be others like me out there who are looking for a poly relationship. Any advice or guidance would be great.

km34 06-24-2012 01:06 PM


I don't think I've ever met a poly guy who isn't into either video games or board games or some other nerdyness. I've tried. And failed. lol Most of the poly women I've met have also been into that kink of stuff as well. I don't enjoy it and can barely tolerate hearing about it for more than a few minutes a day, so it has put a serious damper on my ability to socialize with most of the poly people here (Portland-ish), too.

On the other hand, I know a LOT of poly people who would pick camping over a hotel and enjoy the outdoors (whether it be hiking, fishing, hunting, biking, or whatever).

threesnocrowd 06-26-2012 04:53 PM

Good point. Why are so many poly people into gaming and fantasy/sci fi? Not that those aren't fun and interesting pursuits, but there are other hobbies out there. Where are all the other poly folks?

CielDuMatin 06-26-2012 07:46 PM

Folks into Sci Fi and Fantasy are people that are willing to think "outside the box" a little bit more, and are usually willing to throw aside conventions.

KraZeeGrl 06-27-2012 08:56 AM

My husband and I LOVE being outside...just got back from a week in Moab where we hiked all over the place. Our others are more indoor people though... :)

turtleHeart 06-28-2012 04:17 AM

I do find that the majority of poly people in my circle are gamers, but my wife won't date anyone that spends a great deal of their time on gaming, and we'd both much prefer hiking or some other physical pursuit. Outdoor hippie type would fit my wife and I well. I wouldn't call us anti-nerd/non-nerd though. I can be quite geeky when it comes to making good coffee or hot chocolate ;-)

I think your best bet is to go out and do whatever you enjoy doing, look for meetup.com groups that fit your interests, and also try inviting poly friendly friends. While they're a minority, there are some people in my poly circle that are more interested in regular exercise, gardening, and getting outside. Those are the people we're more apt to date, if we're not already.

ps: The less game oriented poly people I've met are people I met through my game oriented poly friends, along with local poly meetup groups. They're simply the outliers of the group.

indigoangel1318 07-03-2012 07:20 PM

I have to thank you folks for your insight. My wife and I are some of those nerds you are talking about LOL. We've been wondering why it's so difficult to find a third but now we know to look in places and websites nerds hangout. By the way as into nerd as I am I'm also an accomplished martial artist, I enjoy bike riding and hiking but that doesn't mean anything. Its just what I'm interested in.

pdxmamabear 07-03-2012 10:05 PM

nerd power
Needs rule! I find there are all kinds of nerds in this world and that term isn't limited to hammers. I think what you're looking for is a nature nerd. :D

indigoangel1318 07-04-2012 03:18 AM

Actually that does sound pretty awesome. One thing I can say is that I'd rather hang with nerds or geeks instead of those hawt girls or hawt boys so it seems like we'll be in good company.

ecoguy28 07-04-2012 05:48 AM

I consider myself a nerd, but I don't play video games and don't watch much television (other than PBS). More into sports, the outdoors, activism, socializing with friends, etc.

But I do know how you feel, as it often seems only those members of particular subcultures are open to poly. Wish more common folk were into it/open to it/identified as poly-

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