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-   -   Question for the ladies (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24916)

threesnocrowd 06-20-2012 08:47 PM

Question for the ladies
 
Why do I enjoy watching my wife have sex with another man?

And if you are ever in the same situation where you are with another man and your husband/bf is watching - how does it make you feel that he enjoys watching you make love to another man? What goes through your mind?

Am I nuts...?

CielDuMatin 06-20-2012 08:52 PM

Why is this a question only for the ladies?

opalescent 06-20-2012 09:34 PM

Sounds like you are a voyeur, someone who gets sexual enjoyment from watching others have sex. And the fact that it's your wife having sex with someone Not You probably adds some extra oomph. It's a really common fetish.

Your wife may be an exhibitionist to one degree or another if as you watch her have sex with another man, she gets a sexual charge because you are watching her have sex with someone else. She could be getting off on having sex in a more public setting, breaking the sex=totally private taboo. Like many things, it depends on her mental state as she has this experience.

Personally, eh. I find watching others have sex that I am not involved in, rather dull. I am indifferent if others watch me having sex - there is no oomph for me to have people watch. So I am neither a voyeur nor an exhibitionist.

Also, I agree with CDM, dudes should be able to weigh in on this too. There are lots of people (straight, queer, trans) folks who may have some cool insights into voyeurism/exhibitionism for you.

Jade 06-20-2012 10:45 PM

If I knew it was turning him on, pleasing him, then I'm pretty sure it would please me. It's actually a fantasy of mine to do that for my OSO, because I know he gets off on that stuff.

Tonberry 06-21-2012 03:24 AM

It's not that uncommon. I would be turned on, and happy that his proclivities match mine.

NovemberRain 06-21-2012 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 140368)
Why is this a question only for the ladies?

Totally my question too. And given that I am a lady, I'll answer.

"Why do I enjoy watching my wife have sex with another man?"

I can't even imagine why you enjoy that. :)
I think my boyfriend might enjoy it because he likes to see me happy, and he is a voyeur. The other boyfriend wouldn't like it so much, so not likely to happen.

"And if you are ever in the same situation where you are with another man and your husband/bf is watching - how does it make you feel that he enjoys watching you make love to another man? What goes through your mind?"

I'm not sure I would have big feelings about it, except being glad that I could give him something he enjoys. I have done roleplays for folks because it would get them off, even if I have no particular excitement about it.

"Am I nuts...? "
Could be. We don't know. But not because you enjoy watching your wife have sex with another man. :D

polyq4 06-21-2012 11:08 AM

i am also not a lady however, i have many a time watched our BF make love to my wife, watching her cum watching her writhe in enjoyment, how beautiful that is. i have also seen her do this with me so its a beautiful thing, those who dont enjoy this are letting jealousy get in there way. (IMHO)

km34 06-21-2012 11:17 AM

My husband enjoys watching me with others (male and female) because he enjoys seeing me pleasured. He has only seen me actually make love to one other person (my ex-gf) and he said he enjoyed that less than seeing me just screw someone. Watching me make love with someone he wasn't involved with romantically felt like intruding to him (even though the two of us were in our own little world so it made no difference to us that our hubbies were watching). If it is someone I'm just screwing, though, he likes to see my enjoyment. It's a different perspective that he doesn't get to enjoy often so it is exciting. He has also said there is an element of pride for him in it - the whole "She's that awesome and she's MINE" thing, which has always been kind of weird to me since he in no way controls my sexual behavior or has had any problems with me doing whatever I want in pretty much any situation... But yeah.

Voyeurism is really common, so no.. I would not say you're nuts.

CielDuMatin 06-21-2012 01:01 PM

I'd be curious how many of the females posting here get PMs from the original poster... maybe my gut is wrong, of course...

PinkDragon 06-21-2012 08:26 PM

Yesterday I wrote a reply and as soon as I hit the reply button the stupid modem went down.

So, I don't think you're nuts at all. I enjoying watching Bear with our gf and he enjoys watching us together.

Voyeurism is quite normal.


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