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jen8239 06-18-2012 03:38 AM

Ohio Newbie
Hello all! New to poly lifestyle and this site. In a closed poly relationship. I'm bisexual and have a husband and soon-to-be wife (not legally obviously). Just looking to learn from others who have successful relationships and see how they make it work day to day and how to deal with technical stuff as well. We are wanting to have a commitment ceremony this fall and have no idea where to start or how to plan it. Scared and excited at the same time! :D:confused::eek:

CielDuMatin 06-18-2012 02:14 PM

Welcome to the forum Jen!

Congratulations on your relationship - sounds like the sort of thing most folks dream of.

kdt26417 06-19-2012 08:59 PM

Hi Jen,
Welcome to our forum.

Your commitment ceremony should be uniquely you, words, gestures, private or public, etc. ... I would assume if you do a word search for "commitment ceremony" you will find some ideas from things other people have done. You can even try that on Google if Polyamory.com doesn't yield a lot, but we have so many threads and members, I'm sure you can find some resources.

Here's one good thread on the subject:
Poly Union/marriage Ceremonies

Glad to have you aboard, hope we can be of help and get to know you better.

Kevin T.

jen8239 06-19-2012 11:11 PM

Yes indeed we are a very lucky trio. Early in my marriage to my husband he was supportive of my bisexuality and allowed me to search for a girlfriend and explore my sexuality. After trying a few dating sites I wasn't ever able to find any ladies that wanted anything to do with a married woman. Fast forward a few years and I stumbled across on old friend on a social networking site and imagine my luck to find out she was now out as a lesbian and had the hots for me back in High School! So one thing leads to another and we became friends with benefits. After a few years of back and forth flirtations, sexual encounters and countless text messages we confessed our love to each other. All the while I was still fiercely devoted to and very much in love with my husband. Needless to say I was torn between the two and felt an inner struggle that I must "choose". Eventually she decided she would rather share me with my husband than not have me at all and he was supportive of my "dual relationships" as long as I still loved him and wasn't going to leave him. Over the past 6 months our relationships have intertwined and she started to have feelings for my husband as well. This was an odd thing for her as she had always identified as a lesbian. I was delighted that I could truly have my cake and eat it too. ;) The first few months were filled with lots of great sex which then then exploded into fits of jealousy and insecurities. But through lots of talking and working through our issues and being honest and opening up to and owning our feelings we are working through it. I have to say after the initial twitterpated phase it did get pretty scary. I wasn't sure we were all going to make it. We have our moments and fights like any couple does but the aftermath is now much more peaceful. LOL We have decided we want to be married and my husband and I have asked her to be "our wife". I know we cannot legally get married but want to live as man and wife and wife :) The three of us are beyond happy and cannot wait to spend our lives together. I truly believe we were all meant for each other, soul mates, each completing each other in ways the other doesn't. We just "fit together perfectly". As far as being out, my parents are divorced and my mom is fully supportive of our relationship but my father has pretty much disowned me. My husband feels his parents will not be upset but not really care or say much as that is the type of people they are (we think they started to suspect anyways when she moved in with us). Our girlfriend/fiance however is terrified to tell her strict and religious parents who already give her hell for being homosexual. So....wish us luck! We are going to need it!

kdt26417 06-20-2012 07:22 PM

Well, I'll certainly be wishing you luck from this corner of the States. Coming out is never easy. Sorry to hear about your father disowning you.

Other than some bumps and scrapes along the way (which happens in just about any relationship), it sounds like you have quite an ideal triad life now. I can see why you decided to have a commitment ceremony.

Best wishes to you,
Kevin T.

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