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-   -   Resources on Domination/Submsision? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24687)

nllswing 06-12-2012 08:48 PM

Resources on Domination/Submsision?
This is not exactly a poly issue, but I don't know a better place to ask. I have a friend (not mentioned on this board) about whom I suspect that she is submissive. Can you recommend any good message board or a book on the D/s dynamic?

AnnabelMore 06-12-2012 09:18 PM

This is much more general than just D/s, but it has some great thoughts: http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html

If you think she's submissive but aren't positive, is there a reason you don't just ask? Do you think you might be interested in kink yourself?

nllswing 06-12-2012 09:22 PM

Thank you Annabel. I haven't asked because it just occurred to me and also I am not sure if she is even aware of it. It is just the way how she behaves sometimes that made me thinking.

AnnabelMore 06-12-2012 09:26 PM

Of course there's also this handy guide: http://erinkyan.tumblr.com/post/2399...on-so-here-you :D

Or you could twine your fingers deep into her hair, grasping at the roots, and tug gently. If she sighs prettily and shows you her neck, you're good, if she slaps you, not so much. [note: don't actually do this]

But in all seriousness, feel free to ask me questions now or in the future, I'm not an expert but I think about this topic a lot and have friends who teach. :)

opalescent 06-13-2012 05:23 PM

There is also fetlife.com. It's a Facebook for kinky folks. There are all kinds of groups about various aspects of D/s. There are event listings so your friend and you can go meet other kinky people, if so inclined. Like any other social media, you will find both good information and complete dreck, sometimes dangerous dreck. Keep your critical thinking caps on.

May I ask why you think your friend is submissive? Feel free to ignore me or PM me.

I ask because, well, some folks are submissive in bed, some are submissive in much of their life, some folks are submissive but one would never expect it from how they present themselves publicly. Also, if your friend is a woman, submissive behaviour in bed is how women are stereotypically 'supposed' to be when having sex with a man.

Your instincts may be right on but submissiveness is more intricate than one might imagine.

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