||06-10-2012 11:36 PM
Its not as simple as you would think.
Iím a 46yr old Black man married to a 43yr old white woman and have been with my wife from 1986 and married to her for 18 yrs. We have tried swinging and also have been with other people on our own I have felt guilt and also that something is wrong and also at the same time fell this is how I am so it canít be all wrong. But just the same I have fallen in love with another woman and at the same time not fallen out of love with my wife; they are kind of the same but in some way just so different as night and day. I have instead on them not holding back and being real and not to hold any punches in how they fell, we have tried without the correct word to define what has been taking place and called it a love triangle, but did not set any ground rules, but itís made a lot of issues, as IM one person and cannot be with each of them in the way I would like jealousy, hate, anger and pain has been felt by everyone, all of which I have not taken the true time to address, as I kind of donít know what to do, one part of me says take charge and tell them how itís going to be as they both respond to a strong man but at the same time that leads me to think IM telling them how to be and itís not a mutual decision, and IM turned on when my women thinks on her own as well as to have a back bone and also go toe to toe with any of my crazy shit I bring to the party but, now they have both have told me itís a monogamist relationship or nothing else. If it were just sex the decision would be so easy, but I truly love the 2 of them. And have come up with I would rather end it with the 2 of them as to choose is like saying I love one more than the other or one is better than the other at the same time, if it somehow I do chose one over the other I can say with all the pain I have I would never ever want to love 2 women at the same time.