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-   -   crush on partners GF (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24602)

queenkylie37 06-10-2012 09:05 PM

crush on partners GF
ok. so, here's the situation:

my partner and I just agreed that she can date a friend who has a crush on her and who she has a crush on as well. I don't think I would normally have an issue with this except one thing: I also have a crush on this friend. the problem is that this friend just wants to remain friends. I'm feeling jealous of my partner that this friend wants to date my partner, but not me.

I guess what I'm asking is advice for how to deal with this situation. I don't want to come off as a possessive b----, but I kind of feel as if I'm being left out. I've been assured that neither will let it get to the point where my partner will leave, but I'm also having trouble with that.

Anneintherain 06-11-2012 09:08 AM

Well what if you DIDN'T have a crush on this friend? Would you be worrying about being left out or that you'd be left?

I would just suggest that you shelve the fact you have an unrequited crush on the person, and do all the normal things to work on your jealousy. It also sounds a lot more like envy than jealousy. I'd keep busy and not spend time with the crush until my feelings had faded, but that's just me.

queenkylie37 06-11-2012 10:20 AM

if I didn't have the crush, I wouldn't be so upset, no.

I have been assured by both my primary partner won't leave me, and the my partners GF won't let it get that far.

the GF has said she just can't think of me as more than a friend.

and I think you are right, it is more envy than jealousy.

I am new yo poly relationships, as previous GFs of mine were mono. I belive we may have worked out a way to make me feel included that all are comfortable with.

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